well let's see.. i haven't written in this this for 3 days.. hehe.. weird.. and i have a journal i haven't written in that in awhile either, and i usually write in my journal religiously.. okay but anyways.. lately things haven't been the bestest for me.. but i'm handling it now.. and i'm starting to get back to my own self again.. HOORAY! i finally dealt with some issues i needed to deal with.. i don't feel like writing it on here..omg.. you know what the bestest show right now is.. THE OSBOURNES! that is some funny crap ! gosh that family is so funny... mayn! no matter how bad of a day you're having and you watch that show you will crack your ass up watching it ! but anyways.. yesterday was the talent show for hOover.. i didn't go cuz i had "stuff" to do.. and i haven't spent REAL time with my church buddies in awhile.. and i felt it necessary to hang out with them for the day and what not.. aww dude.. today i had cheer practice in the morning.. and i woke up all late and stuff.. cuz my alarm didn't turn on.. so ugh..that's bad on my part.. and nobody was at the house to drop me off where i needed to go.. i really need to start driving! Ooh.. my mom finally agreed to allow me to drive by summer time (( vroom vroom )) oh yes.. watch out for me now ! and yes i am tall enough to drive ! i can reach the pedals and see over the hood! dang.. but anyways.. okay i shared the most ridiculous convo with my friend N A S H get a lOok at this..

x S t r o B e 44: hey you know what
x S t r o B e 44: when you wear your turtle neck, why do your boobs look bigger?
oO Litter BuG Oo: hahah !
oO Litter BuG Oo: what the hell!
oO Litter BuG Oo: ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
oO Litter BuG Oo: hahahaaha i dunno
x S t r o B e 44: serious
oO Litter BuG Oo: i dunno.. maybe cuz the turtleneck is thick or something
x S t r o B e 44: do you stuff them?
oO Litter BuG Oo: i dunno.. that is so funny!
oO Litter BuG Oo: NO!
oO Litter BuG Oo: gosh no!
x S t r o B e 44: serious
x S t r o B e 44: i notice when you wear your turtleneck, your boobs seem larger
oO Litter BuG Oo: hahahah.. i dunno
oO Litter BuG Oo: hahahaha
oO Litter BuG Oo: i put that in my profile !
oO Litter BuG Oo: that's some funny ass crap !
x S t r o B e 44: hahaha
x S t r o B e 44: i'm not kidding though
oO Litter BuG Oo: i know.. but that's funny!
oO Litter BuG Oo: that is the funniest crap i've ever heard in the longestt ime !
oO Litter BuG Oo: but no i dunno why they are.. maybe they're fond of the turtleneck and choose to get bigger or osmething! hahaha
x S t r o B e 44: haha
oO Litter BuG Oo: oh dang.. nash you're a classic
oO Litter BuG Oo: mayn
x S t r o B e 44: i was going to ask you yesterday in person, but i was afraid you'd smack me
oO Litter BuG Oo: hahahaha
oO Litter BuG Oo: i would have and i would have been laughing at the same time
x S t r o B e 44: i thought you say something like, "okay why are you looking at my boobs anyway"
oO Litter BuG Oo: but no i have not and never have stuffed them.. i can freakin' show you it's real.. but i won't ! hahahaha
oO Litter BuG Oo: but yah.. why the heck are you anyway ?!
oO Litter BuG Oo: hahahaha
x S t r o B e 44: well it's really noticeable
x S t r o B e 44: when you wear your turtleneck
oO Litter BuG Oo: i dunno.. now it's like weird when i wera that.. i'm gonna try and avoid you!
oO Litter BuG Oo: hahah
x S t r o B e 44: no come on
x S t r o B e 44: hahaha it turns me on :-*
x S t r o B e 44: hahaha jk
oO Litter BuG Oo: hahah eew
oO Litter BuG Oo: hahaha

interesting aye ?! gosh... and he's my gurfren.. what a weirdo he can be sometimes.. mayn! WHY WERE YOU LOOKING THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE ?! haha.. you stupid nerd! hahaha.. that will forever be embedded in my memory now.. mayn but on to other stuff.. i've been lagging so bad in schOol.. and now it's come to bite me in the ass! now i'm cramming to do so much crap at one time.. AAH! goodness sakes.. freakin' procrastorbation sucks ! alrite.. me go now.. happy nash i updated it ?! sheesh.. i'm better!

okay so let me see.. i don't really feel like writing but i figure i should write to get a load off.. one thing i gotta say.. "my heart hurts" and i don't feel like getting into detail about what's going on in my life.. but for those of you guys that happen to know what's up with me.. well... you guys thanks for caring.. and being there.. it truly is appreciated.. i dunno.. in a way i guess everything is coming together for me now.. i'm starting to realize what things in my life are TRULY important.. instead of the useless nonsense i usually worry about.. there really is a reason for everything that happens to you.. even if sometimes you just wish it didn't.. =/ i'm trying really hard to walk around with a smile on my face.. but it hasn't been working.. i can't help but hold my head down and stare at the floor.. i'm sad.. and i don't feel like smiling..and at the same time i don't wanna cry.. cheer practice wasn't that bad though.. i hit my stunts pretty good on the first tries and stuff.. i guess i work better sad.. to you guys that don't know what is up with me.. i'll tell you when i'm a bit more grounded.. right now i just can't talk about it yet.. thanks for sticking by me though.. i think that's it for now.. i'm gonna do some homework..

i think today was a pretty good day... let me see i woke up real early in the morning cuz something popped into my mind.. and i just couldn't get back to sleep.. so i figured.. screw it just get up and take your shower.. might as well get an early start with the day.. so i go.. and yah i even had breakfast! cup of noodles! oh yess.. now you know that's a well balanced breakfast! but anyways.. so i'm off to school and i'm all early so yah..i hang out for awhile.. and then i get to class and stuff.. pretty interesting.. but anyways.. i had a algebra 2 test today that i don't think i did so hot on.. urfz.. this test stuff is screwing me over in that class! i don't know what's going on in my brain.. i understand waht's going on and then i lOok at the test and my brain gets fried.. =/ and let's see chemistry class we're doing a lab! we're making soap! eew.. soap is made from lard! how disgusting is that! i'm never gonna use soap again! haha jk.. but yah pretty interesting stuff.. and we actually worked with "deadly" chemicals.. or so called deadly chemicals.. so we had to like use latex gloves and goggles okay those gloves.. are they supposed to be one size fits all?! cuz they weren't fitting my hands at all..but anyways.. so it was pretty interesting.. and then umm french rolls along and that's the same as always.. i need to think of a creative project to do.. i can't think of anything wild enough yet or creative enough.. but anyways.. in my english class i introduced myself to this new guy.. he's been sitting at the seat in front of me for a couple of weeks now and stuff.. and like we were supposed to get into groups and he was sitting by himself so i just decided to tap him on the shoulder and was like hey you can be in our group.. hehe.. nice act of the day for me huh ?! yah.. well his name is jeff... and he seems like a pretty nice fellow.. and ugh.. i was so frustrated at cheer practice today.. gosh.. nobody wants to work! everyone wants to leave practice early! and it's like.. competition is NEXT saturday! i mean all these people want to get to competition and stuff but none of them are willing to spend the time and the effort to be at the practices and actually work.. no one wants to put in extra time.. it's like they want to go to comp without doing all the work.. HELLO NO!!! i dunno i was very frustrated.. but uMm.. i dunno i'm not thinking right now.. more later.. maybe..

okay i just heard the greatest quote ever dealing with a person's faith.. "Faith is like a glass.. when you were younger you used a smaller glass, and it was easier to fill, but as you grow older you start using bigger glasses, and it gets harder to fill" quote from the movie DOGMA isn't that just the truest and like understandable quote ever.. you realize that when you were younger all people had to do was tell you "GOD loves you!" to fill our little cups with just the right amount of faith in him, or even just for someone to give you a little present and you're gonna be like "THANK GOD!!" but now.. as you grow older.. satisfying your faith in HIM gets so much harder.. we always want more prOof of why we should be having faith in HIM at all.. we never become quite satisfied.. because right when you think that glass is full, all of a sudden that contents inside spill, and you're asking for more.. hMm.. dang that was an epiphany huh ?! well it's like 3 in the morning and i'm sitting here blogging awway.. i just had to write that thought down.. i just got finished eating my bowl of yoshinoya at my friend's house.. yumMm.. i've been craving.. well i dunno why i feel like sharing this on here... but i dunno i figured i might as well release some of my stresses that i'm facing at the current moment.. okay so here i go.. lately my grandfather, well not really my grandfather, but the man i call grandfather here, techinally only my cousins grandparents, but wahtever.. complicated situation.. has been in the hospital in ICU.. he's very sick.. and now i just heard that he only had until today to live.. they've taken out of all the life support in his body becuase the doctors said that there wasn't hope anymore.. i mean i'm glad that he won't be suffering anymore.. cuz when i saw him at the hospital it just broke my heart.. all the tubes in his body.. and like he wasn't even breathing on his own anymore.. it was the machine breathing for him.. i haven't heard yet if he has passed away yet.. but yah.. i just ask for anyone reading this.. that you're prayers may be prayed for him..thanks.. okay anyways.. i dunno i guess i'm in "sentimental mode" right now.. cuz i'm all listening to slow jams like a sentimental freak.. i am listening to the same songs.. "ashanti-fOolish", "faith evans-i lOve yOu ", and "Nsync- Falling" interesting aye ?! yah i thought so.. but lemme see today.. or should i say yesterday i had a pretty gOod day.. i had to wake up at like 6:30 in the morning to go to this Best Buddies bash thing.. it was pretty cOol.. at first we didn't think it was gonna be much fun.. Hoover was in charge of a bOoth so we did face painting.. and we only had to colors at first.. and they weren't even face paint, but it was like puffy paint thing you use for fabrics.. and we only had the colors silver and lavendar.. great huh?! can you sense the organization.. so we get to Griffith Park.. then we find out that we didn't need to be there till 9 in the morning.. czu taht's when registration is! AAH! my gOOdness i could have slept ATLEAST an extra hour! my gOodness gracious.. grRr.. but anyways.. (( getting over it )) but i guess in a way it was a good thing cuz it gave us time to go and purchase some face painting equipment.. we went to micheal's at first, by we, i mean.. me melisse jackie and joyce.. yup 4 people out of like the 30 or so people that are in best buddies.. great huh?! but yah.. so we go and we didn't think people would actually trust 4 girls with no artistic talent to paint stuff on their faces.. but our face painting booth was a hit! yay! a lot of people came.. and i constantly just drew the same things over and over.. a lady bug, flowers, hearts, caterpillars, butterflies, baseballs, footballs, basketballs, and umm... etc. etc. the most elaborate thing i drew was probably a bunny rabbit... which i applaud myself greatly for.. Oh and ofcourse i made this guys entire face look like a tiger and the other a panda/racoon loOking like thing.. and umm bunnies on people.. it was pretty awesome (( dusting myself off )) see i'm not that artistically challenged. i have my moments.. but anyways.. i have a whole butt load of stuff to do this sunday.. so basically i have church.. homework.. and housework to do on sunday.. but hey as long as i get my much needed sleep in i'm goOd to go.. which by the way i should be doing right now instead of blogging.. i just felt that i should be writing these things before i get to bed.. writing down my "food for thought" before i leave.. alritee. hope you enjoyed it.. i figured i would write a significant amount today since i haven't really written much of anything lately.. tsk tsk i shouldn't be abandoning this great technology.. alrite that's all.. have a blessed day!