People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they wnat, and, if they can't find them, they make them.
-- George Bernard Shaw


so let's see... i didn't do anything today. i just babysat the godson the whole day, and watched a bunch of tv. i drove my good ol' hondy today... and it felt so different from driving my car... but that car will always be great cuz it's my first car! =D good stuff with that car, but i can feel it's old age kickin' it's ass.. poor thing. so let's see i didn't have a very thrilling day really, just hung out and babysat the godson... nothing new and exciting, if it wasn't for my tagboard stuff gosh my life would be so borringgg! hahaha... it's funny when people tell me, "i'm sorry about what's happening on your blog." but seriously i don't mind these so-called "haters" cuz i appreciate them just as much as i appreciate my friends that stand up for me... i appreciate them both in different ways..


i appreciate these "haters" for the fact that they teach me lessons i will never get the chance to learn but only through people like them, and i need that. so i sincerely thank them, for the lessons they teach me. They help me expand in my understanding, and day by day they help me become a better person, and you know the greatest part about this whole "hating" deal is.. i have no anger towards it and i don't reciprocate the hate they feel. i have practically no emotion towards it.. at first i thought maybe there's something wrong with me?! am i that cold-hearted that i don't even have a sense of feeling towards what is being said about me?! but i realize, that it's not that i'm cold-hearted, it's just i understand. i understand that not everyone in this world will like me, and i'm cool with that. i understand that there are more "haters" out there then the people that are writing in my tagboard, and that i will come across worse things in the world besides what is showing up in my face. i am in no way saying you guys have no right to say what you say, because you have that right. you have the right to feel what you feel about me, and say what you want to say about me. i am not one to take that right away, none of my great friends can take that right away from you... and i'm sure you have good reason to feel what you feel, but it doesn't mean it's the truth. i say this... my door is open to you if you would like to really get to know me, and if you do, and you still feel the same way about me, then it's cool with me. i'm glad you felt so strongly about something, that nothing made you change your mind. i'm not even looking to change your opinion about me, but just simply to get to know me. if you don't think i'm worth your time, then please, don't waste your time. i hope you aren't filled with so many bad feelings as you make it seem, cuz i bet it doesn't feel too good. i am going to continue to keep you in my prayers...


and to the other group on my tagboard.. my buddies! =D thank you so much for caring that much about me. i appreciate how great you guys are, and thank you for teaching me that even through the bad qualities that i have, i still have such great and loyal friends like you guys! thank you for being there through these situations.. thank you for being so concerned. you guys are definitely a blessing in my life. oh and guys, please don't call that number, cuz it's not a real number.. and oh yea [sidenote: thank you for giving me that number "SUCK MY COCK" because i've been wanting to know what that number was...] but anyways... as i was saying.. it's nice to know that you guys are behind me, and that it is a possibility that i can depend on other people, and not just myself. you guys should thank those "haters" of mine, cuz they give me such a greater appreciation for you guys, my friends. they help me realize more and more that i am truly blessed with a great group of friends... so for that i think you guys owe them a thank you. haha =). all my love to you guys.


i feel so, still ME. i feel so comfortable in my own skin right now.. like i can finally sit and just smile about anything.. i love this. GOD is truly blessing me, even if i don't pay Him as much attention as i should be. maybe this feeling is only going to last this one day, but i'm happy as i was able to feel this comfort right now... at this very moment.

you win some, you lose some.
-- someone


alrite, so i'm in a blogging sort of mood.. let's discuss yesterday first before i get into my thoughts...


[yester]day:
so the housewarming party was yesterday.. the house was blessed and we had mass at the house.. it was cool.. there was good food, we ate the usual stuff.. some random ass people were coming to the house i had no freakin' idea who the heck they were.. mom's guests i suppose, but whatever.. i didn't know who they were.. random aunts and uncles... but anyways after all the visitors left some friends of mine came over, henri and wesley snipes were already at the house before anyone else, so yeah.. and then later by around 9 o'clock marnie and courtney came.. then my juicy came.. and then robin and danny came later on that night.. talked to danny and robin in my garage about some certain stuff... robin you are too nice.. and then after that we finished watching "Old School" i didn't really get to watch but heyy.. it's all good.. haha my joke was funny! "is this Old School?" no actually, it's kinda new still! hahaha! =D i'm a genius! but anyways.. after that we watched How To Lose a Guy in 10 days, and that is like my third time watching that movie that day.. =D i love that movie! and then afterwards we were just watching some TV. we watched American Gladiators! hahaha funny! and then marnette and courtney left.. and then everybody left soon after... so it was cool hanging out with friends and what not, and just having a chill sort of time...


so today i'm not having that grand of the day.. TOM came and visited me, so i will continue crawling up into a little ball the rest of the day, as i am trying to do now as i'm blogging.. then i got into a spat with the BF.. gracious misinterpretations galore?! how about just asking me, and talking to me about how you feel?! try that, it might help clear some things up for you.. buy yeah whatever... and then hMm situation with my mom and gracious.. she lends my car to some of my relatives to take up north without thinking at all of the fact that, hey katrina uses her car to go to practice with! ooh yeah, let's not think of that huh?! and when i ask her about it, she replies with nothing.. like the situation i just brought to her attention doesn't mean anything at all.. yeah so okay.. i dont 'mind them bothering my car at all.. dont' understand why they can't use her car that sits there and does abosolutely nothing... which her ML320, an SUV! is much more spacious and more comfortable to travel in.. but heyyy whatever dude. i don't mind them borrowing my car, cuz it's not my car to sit and let people borrow, my mom pays for it, so yeah whatever.. but it's like yeah you wanna think about how your decision affects other people?! oh ofcourse not, she's never done that anyway, so why start now right? and okay later on she says use the honda.. which i don't mnd at all.. but that car, in this heat has a 1 in 5 chance of over heating.. but anyways, so yeah whatever, i can deal with that.. but then all of a sudden i realize, who's going to take care of the kid?! cuz usually when i have practice i take the kid to my uncle's house in glendale, and then pick him up after practice.. but umm let's see here, the uncle that i take it to is part of the group going up north... yeahhh, so who do i leave the kid to now?! yepp... so my genius mom didn't seem to think of all these things... and all of a sudden i have to think of them... gosh this summer i suddenly gave birth to a 6 year old child. and all of a sudden i have all these responsibilities just placed upon me and my summer goes *shplat*... but whatever, don't mind, sometimes this kid is the only one that gives me such great joy.. so i don't mind taking care of the kid at all.. this kid gives me so much more than i can imagine, so it's all good. don't mind.. i have time for summer stuff anyway later on.. i'm not having a bad summer anyway...


the kid did the sweetest thing to me earlier today.. so i was kind of not in the greatest mood.. due to reasons.. probably one reason is due to TOM, but my sarcasm was at it's peak and i was also feeling a bit on the emotional side.. and then this 6year old kid, give sme this little note.. and i already expected it to read, "i love you." cuz we play this little game where he usually writes that and i chase after him like a maniac because he said my favorite thing.. and that was, "i love you." yeah yeah i know, i'm a big doofus. but yeah we play that game. and so i expected it to be that when i opened the note.. and i was thinkin', "dude i'm not in the mood for this at this very moment." but i open it and it says, "i love you." and there's like a 5 dollar bill in there and a quarter.. and i thought it was such a sweet and thoughtful gesture for a 6 year old boy to do, cuz i thought he was like giving up so much or something.. cuz i know $5 for a 6 year old boy is like $987917213 million dollars... and i just thought that simple gesture meant so much, and i started to cry.. like i was bawling okay.. not just ooh little tears here and there, but i was crying.. i don't know, i guess it was just something i needed at that time.. not the $5, cuz ofcourse i gave it back, but the thought that he was putting into it... that's what i was crying about... ehh i don't know, maybe it was just cuz i was in this emotional state.. but yeah.. okay i'm out now.. talked too much, and i'm already feeling better just by writing in this thing... so yeah i'm gonna go now. i have a long day ahead of me.... hopefully you guys are having as great of a lesson-filled day as me... if not, well hopefully you guys are having a good one.