At times we can feel as if we are too weak to live, yet too strong to die.
-- anonymous

kay well i woke up at freakin' 2 in the afternoon today! dang.. i don't even know why, i think i slept pretty early last night.. i know before 1 o'clock that's for sure.. well hmm yesterday was a fun filled friday! yes it was.. so i went to school and i took my lab practical in my physiology class.. omgoodness.. how come i know i didn't do too hot on that thing! dude, ahh! dumb ass physiology, and then after i took my french test which was a piece of cake! yumm! =D and then cheer practice we just did the dance and stuff.. yeah good stuff.. and then my riso alongside JAN came and picked me up and stuff.. and we watched the bball game against muir for a little bit, and then we ran some errands and stuff.. and then after we were off to one of the coolest places on this earth MEDiEVAL TiMES! yeah so i went with henri's family and stuff.. good times! we were the red knights this time.. last time i was there back in 7th grade we were the black and white knights, and our knight was the first one to freakin' die! what a kill is that! and i got a flower last time cuz i was sitting like front row and stuff. =D aww good times! this time i was sitting like in the back and stuff, but our knight ALMOST won! ALMOST! but ehh.. oh well! stupid yellow knight, stupid thing! but atleast ours wasn't the first one to die, so good stuff. dang dude they serve you a humungo piece of chicken! i couldn't even finish it! and then they don't give you utensils cuz umm they didn't have utensils back then.. but umm hello they didn't have microphones back then either?! and how did they cook the food?! they better have not cooked them with like gas ovens and stoves and stuff, cuz i'm sure they didn't have those back then either! gosh but one thing they have such smart horseys! they were doing a bunch of tricks and stuff, the horses were so smart! and DAYM! those horses were VERY well endowed if you guys catch my drift! i saw some of them after the show and stuff and GOSH DAYM! i wonder if shaq has it that good! hahahahah JK! alrite well i think i talked enough jibberish about my medieval times experience. i'm gonna go now.. and eat, cuz i'm daym hungry! laters!

oh wait.. also my mommy got such a cute haircut.. she got her hair did yesterday and she looks so cute. her hair is all highlighted and stuff, and she has like a lock of hair french... "meche sur la front" meaning she has like hair in front of her face.. like you know pushed to the side kind and stuff.. aww.. i wanna get my hair did! yeah my mommy said i'm gonna go, should i highlight my hair guys? i was thinking of dyeing it black and stuff.. but should i highlight it instead? i'm tired of this boring ol' hair of mine.. i need to add some spunk to it.. yes? well seriously NOW i'm done.

you are beautiful no matter what they say...
-- Xtina Aguilera

today was an average day.. went to school.. 2nd period was GAY! ooh i have an essay due for that class tomorrow, 3rd period.. that teacher is really random.. =/ hMm.. 4rth period.. ahh my physiology bones practical is tomorrow! dude! ahh! MUST STUDY! MUST STUDY! 5th period.. i watched some cendrillon yeah that's cinderella in french.. the song, "bippidi boppidi boo!" sounds real funny when it's in french.. it's basically the same thing, but with an accent which makes it sound funny, and some of the characters have a REAL raspy voice.. so yeah i have an itch to watch that movie now for some reason.. hMm.. since we didn't get to finish it.. we ended at the best part of the movie, when she walks into the ball and she's all dolled up sexified style.. and when she was all lost, and the prince notices her amidst all the girls and stuff, and he walks up to her and stuff.. yeah good stuff... did you guys notice the foreshadowing in the beginning of the movie when she's serving her step-sisters, and step-mother the coffee, when she's going up the stairs, and her shoe slips off! yeah HELLO! FORESHADOWiNG HARDCORE STYLE! well yeah and then after that it was some cheer practicing time.. and we just did a couple stunts and ooh i based today! yeah only cuz we were just messing around, and then we just practiced our awesome dance.. oh yeah

dude what defines a T E A M? isn't it being there and stuff, and being supportive.. if i'm mistaken that's what makes up a team.. dude PEP TEAM i mean be happy for our success, as we would be for you guys.. honey, bitterness is not a pretty look on you! and dude before you open mouth and talk crap about us, KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKiNG ABOUT! GET YOUR FREAKiN' FACTS STRAiGHT! daym dude... don't take credit for your teams accomplishments LAST YEAR! cuz you weren't in that team! don't take credit for something you had no role in achieving! and one other thing, yeah our summer CAMP CHAMPS! that was this year! NOT 5 years ago! and also a word of advice to you, the next time you talk mess about the team be sure that no one from the team you're talking crap about is present, that's not smart at all .. i guess hence the probation huh? omgracious! that really got me mad.. because there's one thing to talk about me, or one other person, but you're talking about us as a whole, and there's one thing to share your jealousness with your other teammates, but you're spreading rumors about us that are not true! that's not cool! really it isn't. oh and also to those who read the tornado times article about CHEER. ALL OF iT WAS FACT AND TRUE! otherwise they wouldn't print it on the newspaper.. last time i checked they did not print fictional stories on the newspaper. i don't not like you, i just don't like what you're doing.

and another thing to who ever "patrick" is.. thanks. really thanks. you can feel whatever you wanna feel about me and my boyfriend.. but me and him are quite happy, and if that bothers you and it is necessary for you to make such remarks toward me and him go right on ahead, i really don't mind.. because it's not like the words you have to say will affect our happiness.. only me and him have control over that.. and guess what we're a happy LOViNG each other... i'm just sorry you had to waste your time writing "EFF you and ur boyfriend." cuz it doesn't affect us at all. thanks for taking the time out of your life.. really i appreciate it. and umm also one thing to ask you though.. do i even know you? or is this "patrick" just a little alias since you can't really tell me your real name.. cuz last time i checked i'm only familiar with one patrick, and he wouldn't leave a message like that.. so if that's not your real name.. then you have other issues to deal with than sitting there and making comments like that on my tagboard.. cuz you have a big problem about being a coward, that you can't even step up and be upfront on who you are. if your'e gonna write anything at all at the tagboard regarding me and wonderful boyfriend.. please atleast let it be something intelligent than your last post.. cuz really you haven't proved anything by saying that. so umm basically my reply to what you gotta say is.. WHEN AND WHERE?! i guess someone goes both ways huh? you wanna EFF me AND my boyfriend. =D have a nice day and i really hope you resolve your issues. GOD bless you! and i'm praying for you.

i'm done.

Realize that if you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.
-- Anthony J. D'Angelo

well today was a pretty good day.. i came back to school and everyone was asking if i was doing alrite and stuff.. and YES! i am alrite.. i walked into my 1st period late.. my teacher was trippin out on me.. aww well.. i'm not in the mood in the morning.. so oh well to that one.. and 2nd period is umm gosh BS! i feel sorry for our teacher, he tries so hard, yet no one is giving him the time of day... poor guy. i feel sorry for him, so i pay attention to him.. and snack was alrite...and umm yeah i don't think i need to continue rambling on about school.. school will be school.. hmm at practice today i didn't dress, cuz well my knee was feeling all weird and funny.. so i didn't dress and stuff for it.. it was a fun practice.. =D good stuff.. hMm and then afterwards we were just making BEST BUDDiES posters for our meeting tomorrow.. i'm not even sure what we're supposed to be doing.. charades? and yeah i'm supposed to be vice-president.. some vice-president i am! yeesh! hehe.. and then after my henrison came and picked me up.. and he brought me home some yummy THAi BBQ and stuff! =D good stuff! yay to my henrison for bringing me some food.. i was hungry.. and then we hung out at my house for a bit, and then now i'm just blogging.. sorry this is kind of a boring blog and stuff.. i have two tests this friday.. what a bummer.. oh yeah some yay news.. i'm gonna be able to make it to janice's debut after all! =D yay! good stuff! i will be able to shake my booty up in there! HOORAY! hehe.. good stuff, and i get to see the sexy cotillion members.. umm HOLLER Mr. RSX! hahaha oops sorry awesum2sum that's yours! my bad.. you're gonna lose your little bet girl! haha a

well the past two days i haven't really been in the best mood.. i've just been feeling icky about myself.. i felt like a lot of the things i was doing was affecting people in a negative way.. i haven't really shook the feeling off completely.. but i mean i guess with the whole accident happening and stuff i just felt really blah like i caused more problems than my mom really wanted to take.. =/ and i took that out on a lot of people.. one in particular.. thank you so much. for putting up with my mood swings.. i know i haven't been the best person lately and stuff, and through it all you've been the bestest ever! you always managed to stay so nice and patient with me. gosh how do you do it?! i don't know.. but i know i wouldn't be putting up with myself... but thank you so much for taking all the punches that i threw at you.. thank you so much, and i guess that's one of the reason why i love you.

alrite i'm out of here.. laters!

there's a first time for everything..
-- people telling ME

okay blog was being a gay yesterday, and it wouldn't post up anything i wrote.. so yeah i'm at home and stuff my body is kinda hurting.. my neck hurts, and my knee REALLY hurts.. i can't seem to get it to straighten up.. i don't know what i did to it..it's just being a gay ass i guess.. but yeah yesterday was a first for me.. i got in a car accident. yeah some lady trying to beat the light hit me and what not when i was making a left.. ehh whatever.. don't wanna get into too much detail about the event.. cuz the event SUCKED MY DiCK REAL BAD! well the lady was nice about it, and we just exchanged information.. and thank goodness my roberto! was there, cuz it seems like he knew what he was doing.. since he's been through it before.. and my sissy was there all up in her house clothes... and this girl doesn't even go out in her house clothes when we're going to like ralphs, let alone outside where everyone can see her, so yeah this happened on the corner of pacific and dryden.. =/ but yeah.. and there was this nice guy that worked at the thai restaurant near my house.. he was real nice.. so i was happy for that! but mayn old armenian guys that try to get all up in the business need to go back tending to their stores! gRr.. but honestly the lady was really nice about it, we both were civil about the event.. and neither of us were hurt and stuff.. so that's a good thing.. except right now my neck is hurting and so is my right knee i don't even know why the heck my knee is hurting... kinda weird.. but yeah.. i don't know i feel real bad about the whole thing, and mostly cuz i guess i don't know.. like everyone seemed to be so nice about it to me, being so understanding saying, "oh it happens to everyone." and stuff like that and then when it came to my mom, the person that i expected to like support me the most and stuff.. it was the complete opposite.. she walked into the house, didn't even ask if i was okay, and was just mad. =( i guess it just hurt.. i mean i understand being angry, cuz i know if my child got in an accident i would be a bit heated up too, but my care and concern for my child's well being will definitely over shadow my anger for the whole accident happening. =( kinda sad i think.. and you know all my life i've held my mom up so highly from my dad.. and when it came down to the wire like this my dad was the one saying it was okay.. and being there for me.. and sometimes i just wonder like why don't i cut my dad some slack sometimes.. =/ i expected my mom to atleast say something of like, "well atleast you're alrite, that's all that matters." and then give me a warm hug.. but there was nothing of that sort, and i guess that's what hurts the most.. it hurts more than any physical pain that could have been inflicted on me. but it's okay, cuz i understand.. she's really stressed out at the moment i guess with the whole buying a new house thing and stuff.. it just sucks right now. and i guess all these unexpected expenses and stuff is just getting to her and what not.. but i mean the car wasn't even that bad.. but i'm probably gonna have to replace my front bumper and stuff.. =( i don't know.. i just feel real icky right now, cuz i know it was an accident, but i don't know... i feel so ehh about it.. i know it's my first time, and i know it probably won't be my last.. but i don't know i don't like the feeling that i just did something stupid, and unnecessary.. i don't know mayn.. whatevers.. i dont' even wanna tell my mom about anything hurting on my anymore cuz i don't want her to think of more "expenses". i'll wait it out.. the pain probably won't last anyway.. i'm out. BYE!

testing

HAPPY 6 YEAR ANNiVERSARY MY BOiFREN ROBERT!

gosh robert the fun times we've shared! 1.12! FOR LiFE! it's been 6 years! and this blog is dedicated especially to YOU! let me just list some of the things you and i have shared dating back all the way to 6th grade!

6th grade;saving sprite cans; spin the bottle; RORY'S bday party; SPiCE GiRLS MOViE!; pogo stick; the boy with the lopsided hair; stalking is iLLEGAL in all 50 countries; josh!; "he was crying?!"; basketball; elbowing my head; bowl hair cut; 7th grade;the "make over"; the McDonald's doo; JESY phase!; PiNK PANTHERS!; ADL. skills; the beads in tautrim's class; baby day!; english class; mr. panakowski; ms. savage; rollerblading; afterschool @jesy's house; ScrubBenchBreakers!; the scrub bench; TOLL!; are you nervous?; SQUEAKER!; puberty!; endless convos over the phone; chicken scratch writing! cheerleader performance during lunch!; PL vs.SBB! 8th grade; KATE phase!; first GF ever!; PE class; hurting me playing baseball; make over #2; spiked hair time!; hurting me with the swing; East Quad; bday parties!; dances!; break ups =(; first loves; hour long convos; mall forever in a day!; craps!; graduation; 7 minutes in heaven!; sleep overs!; my jinx!; my sister's debut!; debut partner!; forgetting your tux!; castaway!; practices!; stepping on my dress; 9th grade; VAZqueer!; 2nd GF; honors english! gRr; projects galore!; CROCODiLE HUNTER!; romeo&juliet; FRESHiES!; final project!; CKbe!; matrix!; fighting with glenn!; KETCHUP for blood!; butt humped!;CRAiKEE!!; DOG FECES! dog SH*T!; plantata plant!; fighting on my roof!; 10thgrade; SOPHOMORE year!; hotboy robert?; platinum!; back handspring!; BF&GF?!; confusing grace!; "robert, hold my hand!"; *vroom*vroom*; visiting kate @chino!; polaroid pix!; swimming; "who can hold their breath the longest?"; your face underwater!; 1.12 established!; car rides; beach adventure!; "where are my slippers?!"; convos about drama; HOJ; my testimony; MANN theaters; "it's a sign!"; 5 year boifren!

that's not even all of the memories that we've shared together.. i've probably forgotten like 87087123 of them.. but basically to sum it all up we've built up so many memories together, and robert you are someone that is truly very special to me! =D you are a wonderful friend, and through everything you have always been there for me.. you're probably one of the few people who have seen me through all sides.. you've seen me laugh, you've seen me be serious, you've seen me annoyed, and you've seen me cry.. you are probably one of like 4 people that know me on all sides.. and knowing that, you still stick around and are my friend... you've always managed to be that shoulder for me to lean on in my times of trouble, and anytime i have asked you to be there for something, you've always managed to try your best to be there. thanks for being such a great friend. though things have drastically changed from elementary school to highschool, and people have grown apart, you and i have always managed to be US. there's no way i can forget a person like you in my life, i have the marks to remember you by! yep.. i have a big bump on my head from the time i fell back, and hit my head on a tree cuz of you! so how can i possibly forget you now?! hahaha jk buddy! well i love you tons! and hey you're my longest boifren ever! haha.. 6 years and still going strong! now how many people can really say that?! =D january 12 a day that changed my life for the better... haha although it wasn't really january 12.. but hey details, details! =D