so how about i need to stop blogging.. but i felt like blogging cuz i have nothing better to do with my time currently. i wanted to watch beauty and the beast, but the family started watching matrix reloaded. how come my mom doesn't understand the concept of mobile-to-mobile.. i just got some sad news.. kate won't be able to attend my debut. she's going to vegas that weekend! ohhh mayn what a gay is that?! gayyy! =/ i'm sad. jesy won't be there, and neither will kate. ahhh! i'm real sad! =/ this is gay. i don't want a debut anymore! debut was our reunion places.. aww what a freakin' bummer. ugh on that. but anyways, wound up not going to my classes... except for 6th period. just ran through all the tryout stuff, and ugh other drama. i'm so stupid, and such a moron. things weren't fair as it is, and here i am trying to be fair in a mixture of all the unfairness! i should have had better judgement. a time to be fair and unfair i suppose.. i should have been unfair alongside everyone else! ahh i'm really kicking myself for that one! you guys again, i'm really sorry for not doing what i could have done. i really am.

on other things:
i really don't get this matrix stuff. my family watched the first one, so i had a chance to watch the first one, and i still had no interest in seeing it. and now they're watching matrix reloaded and i still have no interest in watching it.. i mean seriously what is the big deal with the matrix? wow, i'm probably gonna get shot for saying that to some diehard matrix folks, but hey sue me.. i relaly don't understand wtfreakin' big deal is.. ooh you just entered the matrix.. so wtheck is your point?! i don't know i just don't get it... i don't have a real interest in these movies that people are making such a big deal about.. i mean i seriously feel like the biggest nerd cuz i haven't seen some of these movies that people have seen, or even movies that have already come out on DVD. deprived? maybe.. or maybe it's just a lack of interest... yeah i think that's it.

also.. for those who got invitations for my debut through mail.. that little card that asks if you're attending or not.. HAS TO BE SENT! we didn't just put that in there for cuteness value.. it was there to serve a purpose, for your asses to send it back to us and let us know wtheck you guys want to eat and what not. come on folks.. RSVP! it means something.. if anything email me or iM me and tell me if you guys are going or not.. cuz my mom is becoming impatient.. so if you're going or not going, let me know.. so i can replace your seat with someone else that might want to go.. geebus it's not difficult. i bet you it's the boys that haven't responded.. i swear it's the boys..

by the way, i have i mentioned to you folks my life goal? my life goal of making artificial sperm?! yes best believe it! i'm going to make articificial sperm! that is one of my life goals.. and once i accomplish this goal i will prove how much we don't need boys. boys are only good for making babies, only cuz we need their sperm, but if we can produce them ourselves then they are useless.. sperm in a bottle that's what i like to call it. you will be able to purchase this over the counter. yeah and i'm going to write a book and i will also title my book Sperm in a Bottle sounds freakin' good to me. okay i must end this long post... baboo

so how about there's no hot water and i can't take a darn shower...
how about i'm going commando as i'm wearing sweats and a tank top, cuz i was about to take a shower only to find out there's no freakin' hot water, and i didn't wantt to put my dirty undies back on, and i didn't want to wear clean ones when i was dirty.
how about that sounded too complicated.
how about i don't know when snack starts for school, therefor no idea when to come in
how about i'm a gay ass that didn't go to 1st and 2nd again.
how about i want some daym bagoong so i can eat some daym kare-kare!
how about i live too daym far from my school.
how about i just not go to school all together.
how about i have no real purpose on going to the rest of my classes.
how about i have a speaker in my gov't class, therefor we don't do anything.
how about in english we don't do anything but discuss the book.
how about foods we're not cooking so it's pointless
how about i have to go to cheer though cuz im captain and teaching a routine.
how about poop i still have to drive to gdale.
how about i don't like not going to school, but there's no purpose of me attending today.
how about i should stop writing like this.
how about you go suck my dick if you don't like me writing like this.
how about i want to go visit you, but you're not home.
how about i'm crazy for driving that far.
how about i stop writing now.
how about you stop reading now.

last thing:
how about this is a random post.


so how about i just watched dawson's creek and i cried at the end of it? hot daym pacey is the best guy ever.. so i'm on a dawson's creek high..

Joey: Pacey. Everybody's working it out. Jen and C.J., You know, that British girl and that gross guy. I'm just no good at this. I just-- I push people away.

Pacey: No, that's not true.

Joey: Oh, no? Then why do they go out to sea or move across country or follow their dreams just because I told them to? There's always something better out there than me.

[Begins to get a tear in her eye]

Pacey: Whoa. I think, perhaps you're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe it's just that you're such an amazing woman, you make these guys wanna be better men.

Joey: Well, we're not together.

Pacey: True enough. [Chuckles] Yeah. [Sighs] Yeah.

Joey: Well, don't you look so glum. We're talking about my sucky life. Yours is a success.

[She tries to push his mouth into a smile with her fingers]

Joey: Oh. I forgot. You're still not over me.

Pacey: [Chuckles] Really?

Joey: Oh, remember? Christmas dinner from hell? That was one of Audrey’s enlightened comments.

Pacey: Right. Of course.

Joey: You're still not over me. That must suck.


later during the episode..

Pacey: No. But I'm glad you had a good time. You deserved it. And you are a lovely and wise drunk, Miss Potter.

[Joey smiles and starts to push a hair off her face, before he arm just droops]

Pacey: What you said earlier was right. I never did. How could I? Just look at you.

[Joey leans up groggily]

Joey: You know what else we never did?

[She kisses him]

Joey: Your turn now.

[She then passes out back onto the bed.]

Pacey: Sweet dreams, Joey.

[He kisses her on the forehead, and then pulls the covers over her, before sitting down in a chair to watch her sleep.]


hMm.. reminds me of something. i love the way pacey looks at joey. he just has this magnificent way of looking at joey. he looks at joey and appreciates her for everything she is. ahhh! freakin' pacey! pacey is impossible. hMm.. he likes watch joey sleep too. reminds me of someone..

Everybody's waiting for that something they can hold onto
while tripping over our own words to
self-dug graves for an excuse to fall
Becuase every failure's just as sweet as the last
-- further seems forever; against my better judgement

so i just got home about half an hour ago.. watched the producers.. it was pretty cool. i couldn't sit the whole way through though cuz i have some MAJOR ass studying to do for psychology and what not, and i don't like driving so late on a school day. so junior dropped yelena and i off at yelena's house where i picked up my car and yelena and i went to in n out cuz our asses were starving! so we ate talked laughed.. reminisced.. then i dropped her off and proceeded to my long drive home.. now i'm just sitting here.. should be studying for my psychology test, but yet i am not. and i know im' not gonna study as much as i say i will.. but no i will! i won't let myself not study! all nighter? HELL NO! all nighters don't work when you have to drive 45mins to get to school.. i figured it's dangerous cuz there's too much time to just doze the heck off... sleep is good. hMm anyways.. let's see the events of today i guess, the usual blog entry. uhh didn't go to 1st and 2nd. woke up crazy late ass. so i just dropped my godson off at school, got ready for school, and burned myself a CD then headed out. there was some major ass traffic on the freeway today. not cool cuz by around 9am traffic dies down...so i was annoyed cuz it was like waking up early and heading off anyway.. awww well what are you going to do?! went my classes the rest of the day. during foods we made enchiladas and i made them daymmmm good if i do say so myself. reminder to self: make brownies for corey and rouhi. i promised those fools i'd make them brownies.. they think i'm some crazy brownie making machine. uhh yeah i'm not. but i love these weird ass boys so i shall bake them their brownies. cheer practice it what i would call interesting i guess i just boiled over today. frustrations and other nonsense built up and it just erupted today. i don't like being taken advantage of, but i don't like being the bad guy either. i mean it would help if you guys helped me out a little bit... i can't recall a time where you guys have ever made it easier on me. but it's all good i'm handling it now, and thinking things through in my head.. i didn't give you guys a fair chance for the fact taht i never discussed what i really felt with you guys, so yeah hopefully you guys now know my frustrations.. it would help if you guys listened to me sometimes. okay i'm done writing. gotta get to studying.. or sleeping, most likely sleeping. i'll just wake up earlier to study. i'm too tired. laters guys!

a friend is one who knows all about you and likes you anyway.
-- christi mary warner

so hMm today was a gooood day! =) i loved it. i've been having really good days lately, i don't think there's any difference to my days that's making it better. i just think i'm smiling more or something.. maybe i'm just making my days better, even though they're the same as before. hMm anyways, i like it! so i did the usual things today.. dropped off the godson at daycare, went to classes, cheer practice. comp tryouts this week.. so we've been doing that.. then i went with nashie to get jamba juice cuz i had a craving.. i freakin' chugged that ish! and then i had a craving for coffee so we went to starbucks immediately after. guh-racious! sooo much liquid in me.. and then i got home.. dropped my stuff off, and my godson's first words, "let's go to the pumpkin patch." since i told him we would go yesterday. so i took him, and we went to go look at some pumpkins.... and i bought a pumpkin for $7.50. that's pretty cheap! isn't that cheap? i thought they charged you per pound or something. the guy was really nice. and i bought some computer program that made stencils for pumpkin carving, and i bought some utensils! cuh-razy huh? yeah can i be more of a mother?! gosh.. i think the brady's did such activities like this.. what's next a potato sack race! =) who's game?! hahaha i'm a nerd. but anyways.. how come i'm really excited about carving these darn pumpkins. my mom brought home this HUUUGE pumpkin for me! so i'm excited.. cuz the pumpkin she bought is freakin' huge! is it wrong for me to be so excited?!?!?! hahaha.. sad trip though, i have a football game on halloween!! how gay is taht?! i was so looking forward to having kids come to my house and say "trick-or-treat." never had that happen fo rme since i always lived in buildings, and they never came around to trick-or-treating in buildings.. booo to that! and i wanted to have a sleepover with my cotillion members.. mayeb i can still do it after the game... hMm we shall see. but anyways... i'm gonna get going now.. i have homework, and i wanna look at the pumpkin carving stencils. it's on computer! WATTCH out high tech pumpkin carving stuff... alrite i'm gonna go be a Brady now! seeyalaterrr!

[edit] so how come i just deleted all the hip hop songs from my computer? what's going on with me? i don't find them worth keeping anymore, and i can't figure out for the life of me why the heck i DLed such songs like, "Roll out" by Ludacris. wtheck was i thinking?! and i'm upset, so very upset that i didn't think to listen to such bands as nirvana and green day when they existed before. i'm gay. i can't believe i listened to snoop dogg over them. hMm.. i'm not turning emo. i despise that term, emo. i guess i always just listened to the music deemed to be "the cool thing to listen to." at the time.. how gay was i?! i guess it's better late than never to come to the realization that the "cool music" isn't very nice to listen to. fun to dance to yes, fun to laugh with friends yes. but to actually sit and listen to HELL FREAKiN' NO! no offense to those who find joy and solice in listening to "right thurr" music though... dude whatever gets you to that feeling is your thing. i just came to the realization today that i love this crap! music is the freakin' crap! oh and slow jams aren't bad.. well some of them... hMm, am i loser for just barely figuring out what kind of music i really like?! haha yes i am. okay end of thought.[/edit]

guy: what about you? is there someone else?
meg ryan: no, but there is a dream of someone else..
-- from the movie, You've Got Mail

so i'm sitting here watching the movie, you've got mail for the 987918723123th time in my lifetime.. and i can't seem to get over this movie.. i like it. so hMm i started on my english treachery essay, and i started at 4 o'clock and it is now 730ish, and i have done the intro paragraph.. an intro paragraph that i have grown very fond of. so i'm happy with it. so anyways... i woke up at 2 o'clock in the afternoon today. i came home at 6.30am... yeah i know what the heck was a i doing outt ill 6.30 am? well that's my business! haha jk. but yeah i went to a bonfire last night with rusty for his friend's bday.. it was a nice time. haha, his friends are really nice and funny. i saw shooting stars. i love shooting stars... i love the beach smell too. feels so... hmm something. i can't pin point the word though. oh did i mention rusty got us lost for about 45mins, cuz he figured that to get to the beach, which is on the westcoast, you must take the 210 west.. hMmm go figure for me trusting what he said.. we drove towards my house and we get to about 10mins away from my house when he finally decided to call his friend and found out that you had to take the 210 east. niiice huh? but it's okay. the car trip was fun... hung out for awhile, and managed to get home by 6.30am. suprisingly i didn' get in trouble.. don't you just love it when your mom is so preoccupied with other things that some of the things you don't really matter anymore? ehh no not really. i don't love it, but hey what are you gonna do right? it has it's good ends i suppose. i really should be working on this essay, cuz it's not going to write itself.. but i felt the need to write or something.. well i'm gonna go now.. i'm craving some coffee. but i don't want just coffee... hMmm

i think my foot popped.