Sooner or later we begin to understand that love is more than verses on valentines and romance in the movies. We begin to know that love is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in our lives, for love is the creator of our favorite memories.
-- anonymous

wow guys.. SCRC tomorrow! i'm so excited! honestly wow, i haven't been able tos tand still in one place this whole day.. i've been moving around like a busy bee.. yeah well i began my day by doing laundry.. LOADS AND LOADS OF iT! i love clothes and wha tnot.. but mayn after everything is worn and done.. it's a pain in the butt hole to wash clothes, and for those of you bratty children that don't do their own laundry! FOR SHAME!! hehe.. but anyways nicholas came over for awhile and we just watched some television.. mr. trying to be the boss man of the remote.. umm my room, my house, MY REMOTE! hehe.. well i still haven't packed for SCRC, and umm my ride is still up in the air about how i'm gonna get my butt there.. can you say LAGGER? yeah i know.. but i know i'm gonna get there no worries, just i don't know how yet.. but anyways i'm trying to get a hold of tita jackie and what not so we can hitch a ride with her.. it's so funny cuz everything is literally still up in the air and stuff.. and there are no plans that are completely set in stone and stuff.. gracious.. except for the fact that. WE'RE GOiNG! but anyways.. i don't know.. i still have to find a bag to put clothes in.. cuz umm yeah i'm not about ot lug around a whole big thing and stuff.. so i can't do that and stuff.. well yeah i don't really have much to write in this blog.. but AHH SCRC TOMORROW! sad story is that we're gonna miss out on bball tournament.. gosh why did they do it the same time as SCRC? umm hello?! gracious.. so that was not cute of them to do.. i was looking forward to that too, but i'd rather go to SCRC anytime.. okay here's something that is worth thinking about.. this is from the song "don't change" by MUSiQ

My feelings are truly unconditional

See I'll love you when your hair turns gray
I'll still want you if you gain a little weight
The way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don't change,
I was meant for you and you was meant for me yeah
And I'll make sure that I'll be everything you need
Girl the way we are is how its gonna be
Just as long as your love don't change

ahem, excuse me but those two bolded phrases contradict each other.. umm isn't saying that he'll love her AS LONG as her love don't change umm putting a CONDiTiON on it.. therefor not making it UNCONDiTiONAL. yeah.. so technically his love for her isn't so unconditional as he's making it seem, cuz with him saying that he'll love her as long as her love don't change is putting a condition on his love for her.. so what happens if umm her love does change? what is she left with? FALSE WORDS. yeah.. the only love that is UNCONDiTiONAL in this world is GOD'S LOVE! you can't beat that.. that is TRULY UNCONDiTiONAL LOVE. you feel me BLOSSOM? yess.. so with that GOD bless! and lotsa lovin' to my readers!

fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need.
-- lauryn hill [unplugged album]

I'M MOViNG!

hmm it's weird cuz okay after registration i went out with MOJO! and we did some shopping, actually he did it for me! haha he's the bestest one day boyfriend ever! hehe well yeah so umm i came home and all of a sudden i asked my mom about the house she went to look at today.. and all of a sudden she said.. "We're moving!" i was just like, yeah right uh-huh sure.. she's like no i'm serious this time.. she has contracts and everything.. and she even has a freakin' time we're moving.. we're moving on APRiL! what the heck?! hmm i mean when she said it didn't seem too close, and all of a sudden i thought about it.. that's not too far away! well maybe there's still a chance i'm gonna stay here in the wonderful GLENDALE.. but hmm my mom brought home contracts and everything, and she's already approved for the house.. so hmm.. what are the chances of us REALLY moving this time? i dunno, but probably a lot larger than the past couple times.. WAYYYY larger than the past couple of times i was told she wanted to buy a house.. hmm.. i'm going to see the house tomorrow.. i wonder what it looks like? my cousin said that it's really nice.. hmm ahh! i mean i've always wanted to live in a house.. but i mean things are good for me here.. i don't know about this whole moving thing.. and if i move for my junior year.. umm i'm pretty sure i won't be staying in Hoover! booo.... i don't wanna leave my school. especially MY TEAM!! holy cow.. everything for me is in glendale.. and it's not like i'm moving like a couple minutes away like a 15 minute drive away, but i'm moving to EFFing VALENCiA! i mean that's in freakin' 6 Flags! and i don't even like 6 Flags! haha.. mayn.. you guys gonna visit me???? hopefully by that time i'll be driving, so it will be easier for me to be around glendale and stuff.. no for sure i'm gonna be driving by then and stuff! FOR SURE! alrite that's it for my thoughts.. but umm thanks a bunch MOJO! for being the bestest boyfriend of the day for me! gosh, YOU FREAKiN' SPOiL ME! no worries.. my first paycheck for the job I AM going to get.. it all goes to you!!!! so i'm gonna end with.. a hMmm.. VALENCiA?

girl: i'm not good at the whole relationship thing.
boy: who ever said you had to be GOOD at it.
-- exerpt from freda and greg's convo.. i like that one, that was sexy! hehe

kay so i just got back from registration, and i was sooo happy cuz they didn't screw up my schedule too badly this time.. last year they screwed it up hardcore, and i had to like go to this nonense class the first week of school.. so that was not cute.. but yeah i basically got the classes i WANT/need, with the exception that i have to change my english class.. cuz i'm not about to get stuck in a not so fabulous english class.. they gave me JUNiOR Lit. when i should have AMERiCAN Lit. but hmm yeah we'll see about that.. hopefully it doens't screw my whole schedule up.. so basically i'm taking the following classes [not in this order]

1. JUNiOR Lit. [i have to change that.]
2. PHYSiOLOGY
3. TRiGONOMETRY [ i didn't get to finish that over summer.], but this is only a semester so umm after that i'm done with math! yess SCORE!
4. AMERiCAN HiSTORY
5. FRENCH
6. Pep squad.

alritee that's about it.. gosh i felt so bad for courtney cuz we had to go through all this trouble for her.. and when we finally got the chance to get our schedules.. she had NOTHiNG written on it! gosh it sucked to be her! so we had to go to the counseling office for her.. see what a nice friend i am.. i could have ran off and did my thang [which i wanted to do.] , and gotten all finished and stuff earlier, but i waited for her butt! but no i really liked today, cuz i saw some of my friends and stuff.. i saw stephanie and skarlet working the book room and stuff.. and aww i missed them! i haven't seen them all summer! and then i saw my HOTBOY BALLER MAN! mr. IGNACiO, JUNiOR, NACHO, iGGY! hehe so that was cool.. yeah and umm me and him are OFFiCiALLY going to homecoming together! hahaha.. yess.. hehe i'm so excited now! well anyways after that umm nonsense of registration i got to hang out with my HOTBOY BALLER MAN! and he drove me home.. yeah he just became an even bigger HOTBOY cuz now he drives! hehe.. but umm anyways after that i just came home.. hopped in the shower and i'm now waiting for my MOJO to drop by so we can go and hang out.. he's treating me out to umm let's see EVERYTHiNG hehe.. yess! my friend's spoil me.. alritee this is it.. i'm gonna get moving laters guys! and GOD bless!

to NiCHOLAS i just found my LiTTLE MERMAiD video, and this is what the back said.. the summarization of the movie.. and this is straight from the video.. quoted directly from the video.. and this is straight from DiSNEY...

"Ariel, the fun-loving and michievous mermaid, is enchanted with all the things human. Disregarding her father's order to stay away fromt he world above the sea, she swims to the surface and, in a raging storm rescues the prince of her dreams. Determined to be human, she strikes a bargain with the devious seawitch, Ursula, and trades her fins and beautiful voice for legs. With her best friend, the adorable chatty Flounder, and her relectuant chaperone sebastian, the hilarious, reggae singing Carribean crab, at her side, Ariel must win the prince's love and save her father's kingdom --all in heart pounding race against time!

yess you SEE THAT.. "Carribean CRAB" it says! yup and this is straight from DiSNEY so don't argue! I WiN! i think it's time for you to admit it.. hehe sorry PRECiOUS Sebastian is NO LOBSTER!

now i know GREAT guys do exist.. YOU are a perfect example of it..
-- me

hmm gosh.. wow! the LSS carson retreat was really something else.. i have so much admiration for that team.. because they just seem so united, focused, and committed.. well yeah so umm it was awesome, and it was just a release of so many different mixed emotions.. and wow, i met THE MOST AMAZiNG GUY! omg.. this guy made me gawk at him.. not because of his physical attributes, but the way he was towards GOD.. i mean the way he just was towards GOD.. it seemed like we were at odds with each other.. and he has so much to offer, and so many things that i just admire it's like.. WOW! this dude is really something else.. i'm not even joking.. i mean i play off everything as a joke, especially when it comes to guys.. but this guy literally like through his words that weren't even addressed to ME, he changed me.. and he gave me a whole new perspective about the whole "guy" concept.. i mean he was something special, and no, correct myself.. he IS something special.. and now that i've seen that it is possible for a guy like him to exist.. i have hope, and i pray that there is another person out there that is similar to him.. not cuz of me, not cuz i wanna find him, but because i think it would be a pretty sad world if there was just one type of person like him.. cuz he is something special! and i think the world should CLONE HIM! haha jk.. yes, but don't get the idea that i'm gonna fall for the guy.. cuz i'm not.. i just totally have a deep admiration for him.. and umm HiS GiRLFRiEND is one lucky gal! and you know what, PRAiSE GOD, that there is atleast one girl out there who has a great guy! hmm.. but wow.. FREDA you feelin me on this topic.. cuz you and me are riding on the same boat.. but you know i'm still hoping for you! hahaha..

but honestly, i know this boy will never come across this blogging action, and even if he did, he probably wouldn't know it was about him.. PRAiSE GOD! hehe, but i just wanna thank him for OPENiNG MY EYES... though he did it indirectly.. now i see that what i want in a guy can happen, and that what i want in a guy is possible.. and that my standards are not too high, or too low.. but just right for myself.. and i thank him for allowing me to realize this.. and allowing me to see the best there is about him, and giving me the realization that I CAN FALL. if i really wanted to, and that i'm not as cold hearted as I AM PERCEiVED, and as i perceive myself... i PRAiSE GOD for the person that he is, and the person that he will be.. and if i were to cross paths with him again.. i know for a fact I WILL SMILE. wave, and move on...

it's funny how i ended this blog earlier.. but i just suddenly felt the need to blog.. and needed to share this. it is currently almost 5am.. but this blog is publishing earlier, cuz i just edited.. but anyways.. let me tell you guys my experience at the LSS.. i didn't think i was gonna share this.. but i guess now i'm compelled to.. i guess in my life i've had a lot of doubts about the type of person i want to be.. i've always been perceived as this "STRONG" kind of person.. but you know what in reality.. I'M WEAK. but you know what, i think that's what makes me strong. I AM STRONG, BECAUSE I AM WEAK. [ feelin' me on that one drew?] people don't usually understand when i say that, but look at it this way.. the hardest thing in life is to show you're weak or vulnerable to someone.. why do you think people cover their faces when they cry, or walk away when they're sad.. cuz they don't wanna show that type of vulnerability to anyone.. cuz that shows your weak.. so if you're able to show you're weak, which is the hardest to be, then does that not make you strong? cuz you're doing one of the hardest things, being weak, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable to someone.. so with that let me continue on with my experience.. as i laid there with my eyes closed just meditating to the songs that were being played.. i started talking to GOD. and i just told him.. "i know you won't give me anything i can't handle, but i just wish you didn't trust me so much." like that mother theresa quote i had.. sometimes i guess i just wished that HE didn't entrust me with so much.. that HE didn't make me this "speaker" for HIM.. sometimes i wish i was able to live aimlessly around the world doing what "teenagers" do.. and i was telling HIM how sometimes i just wanna say NO! to hhis calling, cuz what if i dont' want it.. and i told HIM that what if i don't wanna live the life HE wants me to live, but instead i want to life MY life, MY OWN LIFE.. as i sat there talking to HIM, HE sat there listening to me.. all HE needed to do was sit there and listen to me.. and HE did not stop me, and HE did not prosecute me for the things i was saying.. instead HE held out his hand to me.. and i sat there trying to decide if i wanted to take it.. at this moment tears started rolling down my cheeks, and i sat there still thinking if i should take HIS hand.. i fell on the ground and HE helped me up.. with that came a hug.. i then realized that i don't have a life, WITHOUT HIM. and that i am living my OWN life, and in that life, HE plays apart in it.. i sat there holding HIS hand, yet i was still holding onto something with the other hand.. HE was telling me to let go... but something just made me hold onto it.. realizing now that those were my doubts.. i was holding onto my doubts.. doubts about where i was gonna be in a year's time, where i was gonna be after highschool, if i was gonna live up to people's expectations of myself, doubts that if i was gonna GROW to be the person that i want to be.. HE kept telling me to let go.. and i stood there stil wondering if i should allow myself to let go.. but as i let go of those doubts little by little, my heart started to get lifted as well.. HE assured me that HE was in my life, guiding me every step of the way.. and that there is no way i can disappoint because HE knows what HE is doing, and that HE trusted me.. and since HE trusted me, then i should trust myself... and when i finally opened my eyes and looked around me i can say i saw things in a different light.. it was like i was given a new set of eyes to view the world.. and even a new heart to feel with..

it's funny now that i look at it how things really happen in life.. people get so caught up in the "good" things in their lives that when things start to go a little wrong, people get all crazy.. there are so many occurrences in our lives that we just turn out heads on, and that we didn't know that those things actually had a profound affect on us later on in our lives.. and it's so funny how people can be perceived so much differently then what they really are.. also blossom brought up some good points to me about how i received my talk.. how i was the one to speak about GROWTH it was no coincidence, cuz we all know there are no such things as coincidences.. now that i look at my life and see everything laid out on the table i see that i have gone through the same situations over and over again.. whether it be with family, friends, or significant others.. i always find myself going through the same situations and having to reGROW from the experience.. i have to overcome the same hurdle over and over thus allowing me to have a better understanding of why things happen, and what to do the following time to make it easier for myself. It's funny though, cuz IT DOESN'T GET ANY EASiER. but just cuz it's not easy doesn't mean i have to turn away from it.. i have to GROW through every situation i've been dealing with, whether it be the same type of situation over and over, i GROW each and everytime.. only learning more about myself and more about others... i not only grow through my trials, but i also realized that i grow through the love of others. honestly, i dont' even really know what i'm typing right now.. just things that are caught in my mind.. and i decided to jot them down on here.. a good way to release my thoughts.. and have them written down somewhere, that's why they're on here.. this is my own pesonnal writing tool, you guys just get to sit through it IF YOU WANT. i never asked you to.

i don't know what the future holds for me, but with my trust in HIM.. i don't need to know.. so with that PRAiSE GOD for yesterday, TODAY, and tomorrow GOD bless you guys..