Feels like im waiting in the last hiding place on earth
-- further seems forever; "the sound"

my mom and uncle dropped me off today at school... feels so weird knowing you didn't drive your butt to school.. it's been awhile since i haven't driven to school.. it's such a foreign feeling. i feel so immobile.. well hmm it has to be said BGD pranks hav OFFiCiALLY begun! hahha i'm so excited! more excited because you folks can't egg my car since i messed it up myself! hahaha nobody else can mess it up! so sorry, you guys won't have the honor. there's a hitlist going on.. huh xuan and yelena? hahaha! can't wait can't wait! =) hMm... i got picked up today by my uncle.. and we picked up my mom from this place where she was taking her test.. i ate 2 cheeseburgers from McDonalds today and extra large fries with vanilla ice cream. FREAKiN' GOOD! i love food. but anyways.. after that we drove home.. and it was a long drive home due to the fire.. but not cuz of the fire really because of the people watching the fire.. can't blame them though.. the fire was really entrancing.. we passed by it and it just caught you... crazy fires... so near by too. i didn't realize how close it was to my place.. hMmm let's hope it doesn't get too close now.. that would suck a lot i think. i don't know what to write...

i want to get away.. i not only want to, but i think i NEED to get away.. slowly but surely i think i'm going to pull off all the hair that i have on my head... that ain't cool. i hate being so far away from friends, cuz then i feel so alone when it comes time that i need someone.. or want to get away from where i'm at.. it's like i have no where to turn to. feels like i'm waiting in the last hiding place on earth. someone come and find me. i guess i just really wish i wasn't so far away.. cuz i really feel like i have no where to turn to... i can't take the screaming anymore.. i used to be able to handle it and take it all in, but i just can't anymore. alrite i'm gonna go now. that was just a little venting.. pardon the EMOness of it all.

Joey: Yeah, but then the fear takes over, the free-floating, anxiety-ridden fear in the pit of my stomach that makes me run. Jen, I am completely comfortable running. I really don't know any other way.
-- dawson's creek

so i'm home once again. my mom told me not to attend school today so i can get more rest.. so yeah i did that.. even though i really actually preferred to be at school today. but anyways, we're locked in here cuz of the fire. they closed down the freeways to get out i think. so hmm i wonder if it will be closed tomorrow.. how the heck am i supposed to get out of here?! haha, whatever.. so yeah i don't know what's going on. my uncle was going to go and check on my car at the shop, but then he said he couldn't get out. the fires are closer to us than i thought. scary, kinda. hMm.. let's just pray for the best i suppose. well i'm gonna go now. i haven't eaten yet and what not.. so i need to do that. my neck hurts and my shoulders hurt. daym car accidents.

i freakin' love dawson's creek. i watched the final episode today and fell in love all over again, with who you ask? absolutely no one actually... it was just so nice watching it again.. and it really spoke to me. one of my friends actually said they reminded me of joey. how so? she said i always had a pacey and a dawson at some point in my life. hahaha.. hMm is it true? where are you guys? =) hahaha. alrite i'm gonna end my thought with that. bye.

Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened....But this is how it felt...
-- Joey (Dawson's Creek)

i just wrote a novel, but didn't feel like publishing so i'll just leave it as is. kids just some advice..

DON'T FALL ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL!
lesson learned.. fudge and i got 7 hours of sleep last night.. instead of my usual 4 hours. what a gay is that.
and yes kids, i'm okay.. sorta. but thanks for the iMs, text messages, and phone calls for those who cared enough to ask if i was okay.

being weak is when you're really showing your true strength.
-- me

so today was a good day. well i guess it was. went to school, did the usual stuff.. funny thing today.. so yelena, marita, tricia, and i were walking to foods class when i see that we have a sub.. i'm like there's no point on going to foods if we're not learning to cook something or we're not cooking, so i'm like yelena let's go, and so we walk past the teacher's door, and marita looks at yelena and i, and i'm just like come on let's go.. and she's like okay. hahaha sad thing was, poor tricia already walked into the room, so we didn't get to tell her to leave with us! hahah! oopsy. sorry tricia! leaving her alone in that class again. sorry. real sorry! =/.. but anyhow.. i dropped marita off at her car, and yelena and i went to go eat at taco bell since rouhi had it during lunch, and i got a sudden craving for it.. so we went and ate our yummy food, and then we went to cheer practice with our bloated fat ass bean filled selves. and i worked with JV for a bit, and i'm so proud of them cuz they got a half to a lib! good job girls! =) and we're getting ready for the CV game this friday, since we are performing at half time. hope all goes well. and then varsity worked on some stunts that we are doing.. and yeahh after that just hung out for a little bit, and then i drove home. major traffic action due to the fires. i can smell the fire from my house, and i have a perfect view of the fires in my room. i mean i know these fires are a bad thing and all, but they're so pretty to look at, aside from the bad air they bring out and all the destruction they are causing, they're really very pretty. it was all smokey when i was driving home.. so yeah traffic is going by a lot slower. hMm debut coming up.

RSVP folks!
seriously though is RSVPing hard to do? get back to me ASAP to those who haven't RSVP'd so i know whether or not your punkasses are going, or you're jsut wasting my sweet ol' time when i can be inviting someone else in your place. alrite i'm outs. i got some studying to do.

just felt like sharing..

so i just felt like sharing my adventures of the day.. my very PRODUCTiVE day... but also i would like to share the current thing that is happening in my very area.. the uncles are having a karaoke session. =/ "i did it myyyy wayyy." oh my.. but anyways.. i just wanted to share my productive day with you folks.. i cleaned my room today. yes it was in need of it, and i did some laundry, and put away some other laundry that i did, and then i washed my car.... not to mention i fixed some thigns for my debut.. putting together the guest list, and finding out who's going and who's not, and what that person is having.. so i did that, and i did it on EXCEL! how freakin' cool am i?! and then i carved pumpkins with my godson! gosh my pumpkin was huge okay! it's 19x16... so the process of taking off the lid part of the pumpkin was hell! it was so hard since it was so daym thick! and my godson's pumpkin was 10x10. mine was cool though, i guess the bigger the pumpkin the dryer it is on the inside, cuz it was easy to take out stuff, but my godson's was all smushy and nasty.. so yeah.. and i carved my skeleton design, and i was proud when i put the candle in it and stepped back and looked at my work! =) yay to me! and now it feels so late, yet it's not.. it's actually early. and my productive day must come to an end to me doing my homework. last minute post.. so see you guys later.

i love these freakin' bunnies. i find that i can relate to what they say very much, maybe because i can see myself saying such things, out loud.

no quote

hMm... first off i wanna say hey fat ass martin! my best fat ass buddy ever! i had to get that out there! =).. well anyways, yesterday i watched texas chainsaw massacre with rusty, yelena, and nashie. how come that movie scared the living daylights out of me? that movie was really scary.. i mean usually i'm scared during a scary movie, but afterwrds i'm pretty much, "that was so stupid." and i wouldn't be scared anymore after the movie.. during the movie yeah i'm a bit scared and shocked as some of you guys might have experienced when watching a scary movie with me.. i tend to uhh have a pretty tight grip on people. haha, but anyways.. so i was scared out of my ass and then afterwards i was still scared.. i think what scared me the most was the thought of the movie not being so fake. like it was based on a something real. the other movies i walked away thinking, that would never happen so whatever. i mean who the heck would believe that watching a video would kill you within 7 days, or the toothfairy has returned for revenge?! so yeah i walked away not being so scared, but this movie on the other hand.. it was just freakin psycho! so after the movie dropped people off came home and slept.. well some stuff in between but let's not get into that mix up.

now i gotta clean my room cuz it's really messy, and watch The Lion King and not your Lion King nashie, cuz my mom bought me mine today! =D yayyy! so clean room, eat, lion king, go to family party so i can eat some more. yes that is the plan for the day.. the past couple of days has been really interesting and really fun for me.. time well spent if i do say so myself. ohh another good note, the debut dance is finally finished! so now we just gotta run the whole thing through a couple of times and stuff, but atleast now it's finished... there's another dance to learn with my mom and sister, and my partner for that one is none other than my rubber toe! aka robert to the rest. yeah we'll see how that plays out.. i think i'm just commiting suicide with asking him to be my partner. what do you guys think? jk. rob, i know it'll be a fun time.. how can it not be it's robert! ; ) alrite, well i'm gonna go get started on my plans for the day. bye!