I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
-- Edward Everett Hale

first and foremost!

HAPPY BiRTHDAY
HOVSEP!!!
thanks buddy for being such a cool cat! for being there when ever you can. you will always be my one and only hovsep! and also, i'm the cool one! ;D jk. just cuz it's your bday, i'll let you be the cool one, but just for today! love ya mayn! love ya like an asian person loves rice! [you like that one? i made it up myself! haha] alritee... let's go to tony roma's again! ; )

GOODMORNiNG FOLKS! yes it is morning. i wanted to write, cuz darn it, i didnt' wanna see that pic of freda and i everytime i opened this thing. that thing is humungous! hahaha... but i'm too lazy to deal with html nonsense of it, so ehh leave it as is.. just don't maximize your computer screens guys! but anyways.. so the events of today.. well i went with henrison to hovsep's house for a bit, and chilled it there for awhile. watched drumline. that's an interesting move! cool ass stuff. it didn't have much of a storyline, it was just drumming, but still very cool! but anyways, after taht i just came home and babysat the good ol' godson. the godson was being all sweet and nice by just sleeping on the couch! good stuff.. then at 4 i picked up the awesum2sum at her friend sherryn(sp)'s house. then afterwards we just went back to my house.. had the usual conversations about the usual nonsense, and then afterwards ate leah said she wanted to meet up with us afterwards.. we wanted a good round of conversation, and then some boys asked for a movie night.. aj.augusto.ray.&.archie so we waited for ate leah to come, and when she came she brought back so much food! =D it was great! hahaha.. cuz ofcourse i was hungry as heck! so head out to augusto's house, and then we sit there and talk and just relax, how come we didn't even watch a movie! darn these movie nights. it's the second one in a row wehre we didn't watch a stupid movie for a stupid movie night. how come i fell asleep, and they put toothpaste all over my face! what a gay is that?! i was woken up by a stingy feeling on my forehead, not freakin' cute at all! revenge guys! but anyways.. after that woke up, decided sleeping is a dangerous thing at the moment.. so we went on home... ray dropped me off. thank ray! you're a pal! and then now i'm here. i just fel tthe urge to blog here at 2am. the momster and the sissy are both not home. i have the living room floor all to myself! should i steal the couch today guys?! hahaha, nah, i'll leave it open so when the momster comes home she doesn't have to sleep on the floor. alritee.. this is it for this bland ass blog. i'm tired. GOD bless.

the awesumEST2sum around! =D

not every couple will have their beautiful symphony perfectly in tune.. there will always be those moments where things don't sound right... but i mean it's the times when they actually do that make up for the times when they don't..
-- me

hMm well what a day... i woke up late for school, so i missed 1st period. i parked in the front of the school.. so it is easier for me to get to my class without jumping the fence... cuz i feel so awkward doing that.. the whole jumping the fence thing does not work well for me. the fence is not my friend. so i'm in class.. the usual stuff.. doing a religion project for my english class, and then after that the usual goings on at school... hmm some gay ass events during snack and lunch.. omgosh.. i can't believe that! LOSERS! sometimes the people laughing are directly laughing AT YOU, not with you. sad. hMm.. anyways.. then the usual events of the day, then cheer practice. we just hung out for awhile.. gosh how come i'm used as the freakin' toss object during cheer practice. hmm, literally like the guys formed a line behind JUST ME to toss in the air. hahaha and funny moments with the "toss to hands" hahaha.. more like toss HUG! hahaha... it's okay guys, we'll get there! gosh i was tired though! but anyways, after that we played some hide and go seek! hahaha me,nash,yelena, and wes all hid in my car. cuz i mean he couldn't tag us in there with the door locked.. so we did a whole big thing, and then yelena had to go and open the door so beaver got in, and he tagged us! =/ boooo wes got away no fun! so yeah after awhile that died out, and then we all just hung out and talked.. bonding time! =D yay cool! and then hMm afterwards we decided to stunt some more.. shhh don't tell phil! hahaha... and aww.. it's so fun having boys fight over you! hahaha so wes and chuy sit there and they're trying to do a toss on me, but they couldn't decide who was gonna do it first, and chuy was on my left side and wes on my right side, and they're all pulling me from side to side! hahahahaha!!! i felt so wanted! hahaha.. and then after they settled on playing rock paper scissors to decide who would toss me first.. ofcourse it wasn't ME that they really wanted, it's just they wanted to practice. it was as if they were fighting over a basketball. hahaha =/ i'm such an object. hahaha, well anyways, after that dropped off chuy at his house with danmin.. and then came home, saw my sissy she was locked out, i was also. =/ gay ass. so we chilled. some old lady gave me some major attitude. punk ass old lady thought she couldn't get her car out cuz i parked too close, when in reality she had crazy ass room in the back and all she needed to do was backup and turn! gracious.. she literally made 2 steps to get out! and she was yelling at me, and i was just like if you needed me to move the car, i would have no problem, but it was not necessary to move my car, she had plenty of room. it wasn't rocket science! DUH! dude. gracious! so in the end she was being a gay so yeah me and the sissy drove around, bonded. waited for the momster to come home, and helped the godson with the homework. and that's that. goodbye folks.

Never give up if you still want to try. Never wipe your tears, if you still want to cry. Never settle for the answer if you still want to know. Never say you don't like him anymore if you can't let go.

well hMm just got back from school.. so im' sitting here thinking i should blog.. aww thanks to my blood sistah kate! i love you! =D and yes i am always smiling, part of it cuz of the fact that i know you're still around to always bring a smile to my face, even when you're miles away. =D thanks for being the greatest blood sistah a girl can ask for! well anyhoo.. so i just went to school the usual stuff.. hMm took some retake tests.. and oh my english vocab test was soo easy! hahaha as she was giving me the test she forgot some of the words, and she was all, "so umm what's the rest of it?" and i'm all, "uhh.. exculpate?" and she's all, "yeah ok." hahaha.. and i'm supposed to write the word to the corresponding definition she give me. hahha oh my great stuff. ofcourse i got a perfect store. +1 extra credit. then hmm the usual stuff going on.. ugh. my US history is such a butt! grr on her! and then i dont know what else.. cheer practice we just hung out, played some four square. hahaha it was great quadruple teaming on chuy and lesbo! hahaha.. "hey hey! what is this?! KEEP iT NEUTRAL!" - neha,"you guys KEEP iT SWiTZERLAND!" -me. hahaha oh my good stuff! and then afterwards we just goofed around with the boys. i felt fat today.. hmm.. *ahem*chuy that is not nice! don't ever say that again! meanie! hahaha.. well then yeah we did some chairs.. uhh "get in deeper." hahaha how great! that was great. so hmm afterwards gave chuy a ride home. and then here i am. hungry! but i'm still cutting down my fast food in-take. cuz i notice that i felt healthier those times i had no fast food. alrite well i have to go now. get some homework done before i go tux shopping with the BF. seeyalaterr.

[ edit ] so yeah let me just vent some more.. cuz i'm not done, and the person i wanna talk to is currently unavailable.. so blogger listen up.. let's just mock a convo i have with the `rents..

dad
dad: come live with me, so you don't have to drive.
me: no it's okay. i wanna go home after school.
dad: why can't you just stay for 2 months. till the end of your school year.
me: no it's fine. the address for my school is already gonna be here.
dad: why not at my place?
me: cuz your place is in the Glendale High area, and it would require me having to work for a permit.
dad: i don't want you driving.
me: i gotta get used to it somehow, so why not sooner?
dad: why can't you just live with me?
me: *sigh* and then =/ that face.

MOM
mom: get money from your dad i need help paying for your stuff.
me: sure. i will talk to him about it.
mom: it's not fair he doesn't pay for all your stuff. you think his phone calls are enough to let you live?
me: i know it's not. i will talk to him.
mom: he has to help me pay for your debut, or else it's gonna be hard to pay for things.
me: if you want i don't have to have a debut [note: i've said this to her plenty of times, yet she is planning.]
mom: well it's too late, i made a deposit for it already. you dad didn't even help me.
me: oh really. hmm okay.
mom: i need to buy you a car. your car is no good.
me: oh yeah.
mom: if your dad helped me with the money i can get you a car already.
me: oh it doesn't matter to me. i don't mind the honda.
mom: it's not safe. tell your dad to help me.
me: will do mother.
mom: did you tell your dad to pay for the (insert whatever reason here)
me: yeah. he said he will save up for it.
mom: yeah. whatever. save, save, save. that's all he does. he doesn't even have to support the family anymore. where is he putting his money?
me: beats me. take it out with him.
mom: i don't want anything to do with him. you tell him that.
me: sure. *thinking: why the heck did you marry him in the first place?*

- later convo -
mom: i'm spending so much money with this new house.
me: yeah i know, but nobody asked you to buy it.
mom: i'm spending so much money on your debut.
me: i told you i didn't want one.
mom: i'm gonna spend so much money on your car.
me: i'm fine with the one i have. *sigh*

- convo when i was sick. -
me ( with a 103.6 fever and freezing my ass of, and shaking vigorously and crying): mom i think i need to go to the hospital.
mom: wakes up. really?
me: yes. i think so.
mom: just lie down, and we'll see tomorrow.
me *crying*: i really don't feel good.
mom: do you know how expensive it is to go to the emergency room at memorial hospital?
me: but...
mom: we'll go tomorrow at verdugo hospital. we dont' have to pay there. it's covered.
me *crying*: but i feel REALLY bad.
mom: i can't afford to pay for glendale memorial. i'm in escrow.
me: oh, okay. =(
mom: just be strong, and we'll see tomorrow. it's 3am. verdugo hospital will be open in just 7 hours.
me *crying*: okay. [ i guess sometimes money is important than a person's well being huh? ]

DAD
dad: so where did you guys go?
me: oh we went to go out to eat.
dad: so who'd you go with?
me: oh just us. the usual stuff. me, mama, kuya dodie, tita ely.
dad: is that at all?
me: yeah. pretty much.
[basically he's trying to find out info if my mom was hanging out with this man he doesn't like.]

dad: who helped you guys move stuff in storage?
me: everyone. tito vic, kuya dodie, kuya buboy.
dad: that's all?
me: yeah pretty much. *thinking* if you wanna find out of "he" was there. just ask. =/

parents can be such children.
you get the picture [ /edit ]

You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel.

okay so hMm what to write about? let's bullet things off for a bit.. too lazy to write in complete details some of the weekends events..

friday//
- went to see house all done. it's prettiful now. move in day is SOON.
- ate at CPK, had my wonderful marsala marinara & portabello mushroom ravioli & my chocolate souffle for dessert! yumm
- came home for the Godson's bday bash.
- went to church for some praying, thought, reflection, and adoration. =D
- yummy meat-LESS food. lobster! =D yumm.
- wes, nash, and june came over. had fun with them.
- phil came toss to hands, didn't work, the CONCRETE ground kept me from concentrating.
- boys left.
- stayed home.
- fought with the BF. =(
- resolved it. =)

saturday//
- i don't remember. =/ stayed home i think.
- BF brought me some yummy in-n-out at midnight. =D no fast food for 40 days is DONE! =D

sunday// happyEASTER
- went to mass with the familia.
- ate at tony roma's with the familia.
- battled my godson at yu-gi-oh. i get it now! =D who wants to duel me?! haha
- bought Easter egg stuff for the godson and cousins!
- got ready to head out for the HOJ Easter picnic.
- talked with ate leah and freda at the picnic. scorpios are mean huh? haha
- threw a football at my awesum2sum! JK!
- played some football with aj.augusto.ray.&.archie
- shot some 3s! i'm miss athletic!
- came home.

today//
- stayed home.
REASON: no car. too lazy to walk. [ i know that's a gay ass reason, but ehh, it's the truth.]
- went to valencia to see the house. my sissy wanted to see it. the drive felt longer than usual today.
- experienced some weird ass weather changes.
sunny@glendale > then cloudy somewhere > then drizzled > then got to castaic and it was sunny again.weird.
- the end.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
hmm.. darn it, i wanted to blog about some stuff.. but i completely forgot about what i was gonna blog about through all the ruckus of recapping what i did on my weekend. hMm.. wow, henrison's prom is coming up in 2 weeks. i don't have jack ish! freak.. anyone have a midnight blue dress i can borrow for the event? i wanted to borrow sinqie's cute ass junior prom dress.. but the BF wants to wear midnight blue... gracious. the boy has to make it difficult huh? hahaha jk. well anyways.. hMm i don't know yet.. gosh how come people get so prepared for this event and our asses are not and it's 2 weeks from now. gracious.. once a lagger always a lagger. ugh i remembered what i was gonna blog about... it's venting time..

how come my dad is like ANNOYiNG me?! he's sooo freakin' stubborn.. it's like i understand we dont' see each other as much anymore.. and yeah it sucks that we can't see each other as much, but lay off huh? hot dang.. it's like everyday he calls, every minte of the day.. forcing things upon me! it's like dude, i already came to my decision leave me the hell alone already! can we just talk about something that is not the issue at hand for once?! can we just be daughter and father, not daughter, father, and a million other things?! graciosus.. it's like when we move he wants me to live with him for 2 months.. and i don't wanna do that.. but he's trying to force me to! i mean helllo! i wanna go home. he's worried about my long drives home and stuff.. but it's like i have to get used to it.. i'm gonna be doing it for awhile.. so it's like the same thing later on.. why avoid the inevitable? gracious.. and yet he forces the idea so much. and i'm like no i wanna go home afterschool. i wanna go home! ahhhh! i'm so frustrated with him, yet i can't tell him anything cuz i have to be sensitive to his feelings.. gracious.. having divorced/separated parents is so difficult. i think it wasn't this difficult for me before cuz i mean i didn't hve to deal with my dad since it was a pretty bad separation between us at tht time, so i could refuse to talk to him, but now.. it's like i can't refuse it. ugh.. whatever.. patience, that's all i need to maintain..