eva: i know the one thing that guys are afraid of.
ray: what?
eva: the truth about them.
-- the movie, "deliver us from eva"

so that movie up there right.. 2 days ago i stayed up till about 4am watching the movie and trying to finish it. there was only about 10 mins left in the movie.. like it literally was the resolution already next thing you know HBO just shuts off and says, "it will be back momentarily. we are having technicaly difficulties." i was so mad cuz i stayed up just to finish the stupid movie and it says that! well anyways, so hmm the events of today were okay. Pre-prom stuff. a lot of girls apparently aren't going to school, i still am. =/ what a bummer huh? i figured i NEED to, and i figured i'm going to go to some classes to make good with some of my teachers that have failed to see me as much as they have hoped, and i do have some business that needs to be taken care of.

so prom tomorrow. wow i wonder how it's going to turn out? i mean i guess you can say i have some high hopes for it. i just hope i don't get let down since i am in a way expecting a lot from it. well anyways, after prom everyone will be heading to the marriott! wahoo! can't wait! =D you know i'm excited! AFTER PARTY! everyone and their mothers will be at the marriott hotel. WE STARTED iT THERE FiRST DAMMiT! haha.. well the more the merrier, as long as it's not in our room! dude i still can't believe i'm going to school tomorrow, i mean even Doris, who went to school on Senior Ditch Day is NOT going to school the day of prom. oh well.. i have to do what i gotta do.

oh yeah i should talk about my day. Well, i went to my classes, did the usual. I had to re-make my 5 inch pot in my ceramics class since someone managed to destroy my pot, but it's okay cuz i wound up making one. My teacher who is an extremely big hippy was all applauding me and stuff, like LiTERALLY applauding me. Pretty embarassing. After school i picked up jay and we brought back the rental car, and i got my car back. i missed my car. it felt weird driving that car since it's so much lower than the SUV. i felt like a little midget in that car. after that jay and i BBQ'd some hotdogs and we watched the spelling bee on ESPN. hahaha who said the spelling bee isn't exciting?! so there was this Hindu-ish looking guy, and he got a word to spell. He took awhile to spell it then next thing you know the motherfcker straight fainted, but he only fainted for like .5 secs. Then he got up, and he spelled the word correctly. that was odd. sorry extreme spelling bee! that was funny! it was strangely exciting. haha! i turned the channel and here goes jay, "hey put it back on the spelling bee that was exciting." hahaha! i think it's a conspiracy. i mean he just fainted for like a couple seconds then stood back up on his own and spelled the daym word correctly. i mean if that's not a cause for investigation then i don't know what is! Jay tried on the suit he will be wearing tomorrow, and i must say my date is going to look like one handsome man. =) i'm one lucky gal!i went to get gas, and low and behold i saw julio! i haven't seen that heffer in a long time! it was cool seeing him for so long. haha this guy.. DiCKS BEFORE CHiCKS buddy! haha! tsk tsk.. poor chris you were jsut gonna up and leave him just cuz a girl asked you to hang out. tsk tsk. some friend you are! haha jk. so anyways, after that i went to my aunt's house for a family gathering and there i go hearing the fat comments once again.

me: dude i'm eating so much i'm getting fat!
uncle: yah you are gitting pat. your pace it looka like a bouncy ball.
me: =/.. uhh thanks.

i'm happy i got to spend time with the kiddies. i've missed them so much. i really should visit them more often. the youngest baby is so cute, and she warmed up to me already. she's not afraid to be carried by me anymore, but it's not like i want to carry her too often that baby weighs A TON! after the family party i just came home and now i'm here. i feel all dirty right now. i think a shower might be necessary. WAHOO PROM TOMORROW! you know i'm excited!

just to clarify some things..

just to let you know the previous entry wasn't about YOU. i was speaking in general terms of the whole idea, and i wasn't pin pointing you and saying that you were those things. and the reason why i said i sort of didn't trust you, was cuz of our current situation. has to be said we have no real established label on this thing that we have, so i guess it makes me second guess for the fact that we still do sort of have that freedom to do whatever we want. i guess it's more that than you that i don't trust. just wanted to clarify that since it was basically left as, i didn't trust you, and i didn't want it to come off as that.

okay so anyways.. my car is in the shop, but i'm not too unhappy about it since they gave me a rental. they gave me a ML350 to drive around. =D! it's nice to drive something different, and i figure i wanted to get this car to prove to my mommy that i can drive this car, cuz she didn't think i could drive it. i got my prom dress and i got my prom shoes. i'm so straight on prom stuff. i have the dress. the tickets. the shoes. and oh yeah the date. almost forgot about that. haha jk. ; )! i'm happy i got thigns down.. also my appointments are set too.. so hmm that's good. wow i'm owning prom's life right now! haha! jk. well hmm today was an okay day. i'm so out of the loop with school that i REALLY need to pull myself back in. goshh i'm SO VERY SCREWED! it's horrible.. oh wells i have the power to change it.

i got GHS's prom pictures and i look like a fat tub of lard. my cheeks were sooo chubby i wanted to shoot them off. =/ very disturbing, and my arm was humungous. i hate it! can someone loan me a new body before prom? i swear i'll give it back afterwards. PROMiSE! 0=)

so i woke up late..

so apparently my alarm went off but i didn't hear it at all. i guess my body has just been so worn out due to lack of sleep that it refused to sleep the minute that it lied down. oh well.. i guess i needed the rest. i had work yesterday but ofcourse i called in sick. my body has seriously been way too over-worked that i really felt a day off was needed. it's a good thing i'm only scheduled to work one more day this week.. and i get the rest of the week off cuz of prom and what not. so that's good. i'm happy about that. i've gotten so much work lately that it's driving me nuts. going from my mom's work and then red robin on the weekend is seriously very tiring. i mean waking up at 5am and then going to work at 12pm is just WOWZA! oh well.. i gotta do it.. it's not like i can tell my mom no. that's what's hard about having your mom as a boss.. there's no way you can lie and say no cuz she knows what's up. well anyways i got my prom dress yesterday. i got it from white house|black market. it's nice. it wasn't really my ideal thing i suppose, but i think it'll look nice. i just wanted something really simple, but it's good cuz then it matches when i leave my hair down cuz that's what i wanna do. i have work again at 5 today... i have a feeling they're gonna let me out early though. i can only hope. haha. i really don't know what else to write about although i do have a lot on my mind right now.

i have trust issues. i mean i think everyone has some form of trust issues when it comes to certain things. it's just i realize NOW, that i really can't trust boys. i mean DUH! i've always thought less of them in that sense, haha, but i mean i never really thought i didn't trust them. i mean with what i've been through with guys i don't see how a person can blame me for developing this trust issue when it comes to boys. i mean it's their own fault that i have this issue with them. constantly telling their lies, constantly saying things they don't mean, constantly leaving when they don't get what they want. it's like fck i'm so sick and tired of that nonsense BS that boys pull. like seriously if you have no intentions of sticking around please just GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! if you know your intention isn't to build a good relationship with the person atleast in the friendship sort of sense then you're walking into the situation backwards. i mean i don't get why boys do all these nice things for a girl only to expect the girl to be all falling for them. it's like wtf?! if that's what you expected then why did you do it?! were you really doing it FOR HER? or was it more FOR YOU?! and i HATE, yes HATE, how guys think they're treating you different from "other guys", and sure they might be, but they're not expecting anything different froim the "other guys". you still expect us to sit there and fall for your crap, and you "other guys" still get all mad when you don't get what you want from us.. so in the end YOU'RE NOT SO DiFFERENT. if anything you "other guys" are worse cuz you guys actually think that you guys are something REAL special and that just by you our whole aspect of how horrible the male species will change, just cuz we know you. STOP FLATTERiNG YOURSELVES! ugh.. sometimes boys get me so mad. and also if you want a girl to actually feel worth it, DO SOMETHiNG ABOUT iT! you can't just make her feel that just by telling her you like her. you gotta SHOW that sht too. sitting on your ass won't make a girl feel worth it. girls really aren't as complicated as boys think. we're really simple creatures, you boys just like to pretend it's US that's complicated because they just don't like to take the blame for THEM not understanding US. funny thing is that girls have a pretty good understanding of boys, but boys don't have that understanding for girls. girls just really want to feel worth it. simple as that. figuring out how to do that isn't complicated either. it's always going to be the simple things that matter.

shower is calling.

i have a problem with spending before i get it.
-- kanye west

i'm at work and i'm bored. i'm being paid $15/hr to be bored. YAY! i had an entry i decided to take out. let's be random with this one.

YESTERDAY:
- had a 7 hours shift at work & NO BREAK! i believe in some places they call that SLAVE LABOR! apparently not at red robin though.
- let me share a pleasant surprise with you guys.. JAY came back from SF early! =D yay! well it was a pleasant surprise for me.
- after work hung out with JAY! duh! he left me for 2 days... DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAiN! haha!
- yellie drove us around in her JAG! haha good sht.
"yellie the speed limit is 35 mph. you can try stepping on your gas."
- saw georgey-porgey and his taped up car. no "taped up" is not a slang term.. it was LiTERALLY taped up. poor guy was driving on the freeway and the roof of his car just flew off. =/ eek.
- went to yellie's EMPTY house. =D
- yellie's empty house = FUN TiMES!
- aww you were jealous. =)
- macaroni n' cheese + sour cream! YUMMM!
- tucked jay in, gave him a kiss goodnight, and went home.
- slept at the sofa downstairs. mom thought i wasn't home.
- she tripped for about 0.0923492734 secs.
- my car needs oil.
- i have work today but i feel like calling in. Laker game today and i don't feel like hostessing.
- too tired to work. i must get a break.
- i'm only scheduled for 2 days this week. =D YAYY! break time for me.
- i'm excited to get my paycheckS yayy to tomorrows paycheck and fridays paycheck!

HEY CHUMP! iT WASN'T YOUR LOSS, CUZ YOU CAN'T LOSE SOMETHiNG YOU NEVER HAD!

so i'm sweet.. haha!
to the more important in my life... i just want to say thank you for providing me with the kind of joy that i really haven't felt in awile. it's really weird how you find that feeling sometimes, cuz you really do find them in the most un-likeliest of places. i'm glad i found it though, and i'm extremely glad that i found it in you. and don't think i don't see the little things that you do for me like walking out of a basketball game just to give me a kiss goodbye. =) with you i really do have to expect the unexpected. thanks for always keeping me on my toes and surprising me with what you're going to do next. everyone else in my life has always been so predictable, but with you i really can't tell what's gonna happen next. like you said live day by day. i'm doing that, and i'm happy to have you by my side in the mean time while i'm doing it.

also to my friends... i just want to thank you guys not only for the fun times that we have which are FUUUUUN times but also for the constant support that you guys provide me. sinqie and yellie.. thanks so much for being my best friends. you guys really walked into my life right when i needed it. =) haha and REMEMBER! check-in first, then run off with the guy! hahahahah! good sht guys! fun memories! and KGH no worries.. we'll meet up at a designated area once every 2 weeks to catch up. =) it's going to be like sex and the city and the brunches that they go to everytime. =) THAT'S DEFiNiTELY GOiNG TO BE US! i'm looking forward to it.

that's all for this random post.. i guess i just needed to do that since i don't think i thank my friends enough. =) love you guys. <3 katrina