I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet.
-- Carrie, sex and the city

i believe that quote suits me. i haven't stopped shopping in awhile.. i really believe it's a disease that i can't get over.. so i was supposed to go watch the clippers vs. kings game today, but to my surprise i woke up got out of the house to drive off to meet my sister, ryan, and anthony and next thing you know i'm like, "holy crap! i have no car!" yeah so i couldn't go down to gdale to meet them up, cuz i didn't have a car and all.. so i just chilled at home watched movies and ate food. the usual stuff that i would do if i was home... and i also slept.. i think the lack of sleep from the past couple days have been killing me. and omgosh school is just one more weekend left.. technically this weekend isn't even part of our vacation anymore.. we are OFFiCiALLY off of vacation. sad trip! oh well it'll be nice to see some faces once again i guess.. hmm.. well let's see after napping for quite awhile my sister came with ryan and anthony and we went to the valencia town center.. ofcourse. i was looking around for some shoes to buy.. i was thinking of buying these black high top chucks with green on in the inside.. cuz i've been searching FOREVER for green chucks.. and i'm not talking about the ugly like green green.. but the sort of darker shade of green.. and i can't seem to find it.. btu yeah i was pondering it and i just thought dude that really isn't me so i didn't buy it... well i might buy it later.. so instead i went to Hollister & co. and i put my money to good use there.. i bought a green track jacket.. i'd link you to what it looks like, but they don't have it on the website.. so oh well.. hmm.. anyways after walking around the mall for a bit we headed back to my house and i watched The Ring that is a really stupid scary movie cuz then you realize every move she made and all the trouble she went through to solve the "mystery" was all crap and all she needed to do was copy the daym video tape to get ride of the stupid curse.. and no the little girl was not half horse.. my sister straight sad there and said that the girl was half horse.. umm or she wasn't.. but yeah sorry for those reading who havent' seen The Ring yet and i just killed it for you.. anyways it's not worth seeing anyways.. hmm after awhile of chillin' it at my house they left and i got to be at home.. currently home alone cuz the momster and her BF went to some party at her friend's house.. so i'm home alone for awhile i believe.. fudge oh what i would do if friends lived closer to me.. hmm.. hahaha.. alritee i'm gonna get going on out here.. ooh i'm working at my mom's office again tomorrow.. doing some clerical work.. good experience for me so yay to me. alrite now i'm gone.

changes being made... cuz mr. bloom is one fine mother!

[edit] i felt new year let's put something different up. hmm i haven't done any reflecting yet, so i think i'm going to do that after i recap the day for a bit. hmmm i didn't do a thing! and i loved it! hahaha i mean after being out the past 3 days i think i really needed a stay at home day.. and today was the day.. i was supposed to go down to gdale with my sister.. but then things didn't work out and i wound up staying home which i didn't mind too much i guess. so i stayed home ate like a mother and watched tv... you know what i freakin' realize.. day after tomorrow there's school! ad;lfkjad;lfjkad;ljaldfj! =/ but in a way i'm looking forward to school.. i miss some friends.. haha! and i actually miss attending and all the stuff that comes along with school. odd huh? it's funny cuz vacations like this make you miss school sometimes, and then when you're at school all you're hoping for is a vacation.. oh the irony in the whole thing. so hmm.. i'm supposed to go to a clippers vs. kings game tomorrow.. we'll see how that turns out later.. so i guess i will do a little recap of the year.. hmm let's see how this goes..

hmmm let's do this by categories since i can't really remember all the things that went down chronologically..

school
senior year started and it was pretty interesting at first.. it seemed like a lot of things changed with friends, not necessarily bad changes, but a lot of things changed. hung out at the "senior tree" haha.. the name in itself is funny to me.. but hey! you're there.. i got some really chill classes that i really fully enjoy. and my attendance isn't half bad at all! =) i got some classes with some old friends.. and so i got to rekindle some relationships.. and those are always fun. hmmm homecoming was fun! i went with shaft.. which everyone thought to be pretty random.. but i liked it, and it was a really good experience cuz of him! =) i was originally going to go with nashie like we did sophie year ; ) hahaha.. but then things didn't work out that way.. my juicy won homecoming queen! which was nice cuz she deserved it! =) and hmm.. the school year was going by pretty smoothly. i have no classes that i'm trippin' out about.. i don't have a math, science, or a foreign language.. so everything was very chill! =) i loved it. i'm actually fully enjoying school.. aside from slight mishaps.. grr on them. but i'm over it.. so umm go suck a cock! hahaha!

cheer
i was made cheer captain! =) and we have a lot of potential. we originally had a grip of guys tryout.. and we had 8 guys in the starting of everything.. next thing you know we're left with 3. technically 1 now since the other is not elligible. hahaha good gracious, and the other went and moved his ass to ohio. oh well we'll make do with that one. welcome back assembly has got to be the highlight of cheer so far! =) it was really great to see everyone so impressed by us. =) and i was happy cuz it made me sort of look good since i was cheer captain at the time. hahahaha! and then cheering at my last football game. that was a really amazing feeling. like looking around and just watching everyone and taking every feeling in for what it was.. i mean i was never going to do this again from that day on.. and it was just a very memorable feeling looking back at everything that went down.. and realizing that you've been doing this for 4 years.. and now it's over. it also made me realize that it would be my last year in highschool.. my last football game was the day it really sank in for me... a lot of drama went down for cheer in the beginning and i felt like every burden just landed on my shoulders.. since one of our coaches left i had to step up to the role of playing coach/captain since i mean our coaches would watch out for us but wouldn't really know what to make us do, so i would just tell them what we're going to do and wait for their thumbs up. hmm. and then drama and laziness overcame some folks.. and i had tough time dealing with it a lot of things when it came to cheer.. i recall during BGD i was in tears cuz i just didn't know how to handle things anymore.. and i wanted to walk out on the performance and let them do things on their own cuz i was sick of it. =/ things are still ehh but getting better... i have to learn to be more firm in my decisions and not let anyone take advantage of me being their friend.. i'm getting there.. i have to bring out the b**ch in me! beware when it comes out! hahaha

friends
i love my friends very much! =) i got re-acquainted with my friends through my classes.. and i started hanging out with some other people and stuff around school. so that was cool.. cuz i got to know people that i never thought i'd be hanging out with. a lot of them happened to be guys. cuz guys are freakin' great! chicks on the other hand piss the crap out of me! ughh! recently there's been a point of realization to me who my REAL friends are and who aren't.. well that goes to girl friends.. so yeah it was a good point of realization to me, and it gave me a greater appreciation for my girl friends who are there for me and are REAL friends to me. =)... i became close with marita! again.. =) i love this girl! =) we bought a page together for the year book.. good stuff.. and yelena has been my best buddy around school. drinking buddy! =) juicy.. ofcourse without a doubt... buddy for life.. since 2nd grade! =) good crap. started hanging out with rouhi, romik, vardie, shaft, and those guys as well.. they're kind of interesting to be around.. haha fun stuff.

family
hmm.. when has my family life ever been a stable one?! i don't mind too much.. i figure it's a never ending process of dealing with it, accepting it for what it is, and moving on. i've accepted the fact that things are the way they are... and i apparently have no power in changing it.. so i give up. i give up in this department of my life.. i'm going to sit in the sidelines and let everything take its course around me. that's the way to do it.. learn through observation.. dont' get involved.. or atleast attempt to not get involved.. 2003 was another tough year for the family.. but when is it ever not tough?! and then moving to valencia.. and moving away from everything... the house was cool.. i mean bigger and more space.. but takes some getting used to.. i dont like the stairs though.. the distance between me and the kitchen is horrible. =/

hmmm i don't know what else to write about or reflect about.. i just fully enjoyed my 2003, but i'm also glad that there's a new year.. i don't understand why people get this sensation that a new year means new beginnings.. cuz i mean times might change but situations don't. i mean why don't we get this feeling of new beginnings when the months change.. cuz if that was the case i'd rather have those new beginnings.. cuz i'd only have to wait 30 or 31 days for them instead of 365 days. i fully believe that it's all in the mind this whole every new year fresh start business.. cuz i mean we gotta admit we aren't given a fresh start.. just cuz the year is different doesn't mean problems go away or your life magically gets swiped clean.. everything is still there.. everything from last year travels to the following.. it doesn't take time for it to erase.. it doesn't take a new year for problems to go away or problems to be solved or hope to be rebuilt.. all that comes from within us.. i mean everyone has such a positive outlook on the new year thinking, "this new year will be different. it'll be better." i mean seriously.. why can't we think that everytime we wake up in the morning.. having the aspect of waking up and saying, "today is a new day.. and it will be different and it will be better." it's all in the mind... a new year doesn't mean a fresh start on anything. your life doesn't start over.. there's no magic restart button you press when the new year starts.. you're still the same person in the same situations in the same world.. it's all in the attitude and the person's perception. new years resolutions are cliche.. i make them myself some i take more seriously than others.. what's even more cliche than new years resolutions is the fact that NOBDOY keeps them. i myself am guilty of the cliche of stating new years resolution and not abiding by them.. i mean do you see me having a britney spear's body?! i believe not. all i gotta say is.. people seem so positive going into the new year, and i don't believe that positivity should come once every 365 days... my new years resolution: live each day believing that the following day is a new year... see ya guys, and have a good 365 days...

woo hoo it's 2004!

wowza! can i just say my new years was freakin' awesome! hahaha freakin' crap that was a very interesting new years.. hmmm i wont' get into too much detail cuz yeah, i don't think that's a good idea.. but my new years eve started with a friend of mine picking me up alll the way from valencia. i love having good friends that love me enough to come pick me up all the way in Egypt. hahaha.. after that we picked up yelena and xuan. we were the smart girls that wore skirts when it was 38 degrees outside. hahaha.. but yeah he was in the car with 3 hot chicks! hahaha..we killed some time then we got dropped off at arty's house for a little gathering AKA a freakin' cock fest! myyyyy guhhh-racious! seriously.. it was SUCH a cock fest that the only girls there were me, xuan, and yelena.. and oooh i can't forget arty's sister.. and so hmm let's fast forward for a bit there.. gosh DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA! someone over here can't hang very well. tsk tsk tsk. hahaha! but anyways after awhile me, xuan, and yelena got tired of entertaining the guys at this cock festival we were at so shane called us up and told us he would pick us up to head over to another party. so we head over to some la crescenta party and chill it there.. and it was fun there as well.. this post is very broad and i like to keep it that way thank you very much. so i was just chilln outside on the swing with shane talking.. while xuan and yelena were enjoying their time inside the house with the white boys... or better yet getting locked inside the bathroom! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH! they had to tear the door down so they can get out! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! best life! hahaha oh and who can forget.. "Simple Plan was there! omgosh he touched me! he touched me!" hahaha yelena and xuan! freakin' hilarious! hmm after we dropped the girlies off at home... well actually we stopped by arty's again cuz yelena was missing someone! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! HEY, i held up to my promise.. you were priority! hahaha! okay so hmm after that shane and i just hung out and talked.. and he dropped me off at freakin' 7:30am! i think we fell asleep in his car.. but i dont' remember if we did or not. hahahaha all i remember was the sun being out and thinkin' "holy crap my mom is gonna crucify my ass." hahaha! i got home.. woke up with my like 3 hours of sleep and my mom called and she just asked what time i got home and i say, "uhh 3am." and she's like oh ok. it's good that your mom has a BF cuz she's so distracted with other things that she doesn't get mad over some things anymore.. besides i'm not bad. just cuz i come home late doesn't mean i'm doing bad stuff when im' out late.. well usually. hahaha...

new years day was fun as well... i went down to gdale chilled it for awhile then picked up yelena and we met up with rouhi, romik, dro, and vache. chilled it at rouhi's house.. the faggot thought he had the house all to himself next thing you know his mom walks in! hahaha.. worst life! =( hahaha! so we started driving around figuring out what we can do.. and we did figure out what to do.. and it was fun.. and interesting. freakin' crap... these guys wouldn't let me drive home for unknown reasons.. so i just slept in romik's car cuz they were being gay. until finally i got away and drove home.. i gave yelena a little scare.. but i just had to get that out of my system. =) good times.

now i'm home.. reflecting on my past 3 days and lack of sleep. good times though it was all worth it! good christmas break!!!! can't wait for spring break!!!

There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some loves that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky enough to end up with somebody who has a little of that insanity. Someone who never lets go. Someone who cherishes you forever.
-- Ally McBeal [quote credit to lucy]

i like that quote.. hmm i like it alot.. i think dawson's creek, sex and the city, and ally mcbeal had some really good quotes.. some good writers.. okay update later.

here comes the showdown, what comes around goes around.
-- britney spears

it's been a very pleasant christmas break.. just some relaxing time and what not.. very good for the soul. but hmm.. anyways let's see.. today was my uncle's wedding reception and it was nice and a very sweet atmosphere.. gosh i was surrounded by couples i wanted to throw up! my cousin and her boyfriend of like 91719283 years were sitting next to me being all sweet and i was, ofcourse, making my throwing up sounds and motions. hahaha.. wes left today. =( but he made my day by coming to visit me earlier in the morning and spending some quality time with me. ughh i miss him already. it feels like a little piece of me left and went to Ohio. no worries not losing anyone, GAiNiNG a best friend that lives in Ohio! =) but anyways.. i bought this jacket at Hollister today.. i love it! it actually makes me warm.. and i NEEDED it. i don't have blue jacket in my closet, so i thought i should have one. i wanted to buy this boy's jacket as well, and it was a small. but it still looked big on me.. but hmm.. i think i will still go purchase it. i really think i shop at that store too much. you know you shop too much at a store when you walk in and you can point out everything you own and realize you're pointing at practically the whole daym store.. and when you walk in all you're wearing is their clothes! =/.. i need help, but not quite yet. =) it was cold today. i was wearing cute pink skirt i bought at paseo. it was cute, but it lacked the ability to keep me warm. the price you pay to wear a cute skirt. bargain that skirt was.. i was very proud of that purchase.. alongside the sweater i bought with the skirt... the skirt was actually more expensive than the skirt. strange? this is a random post.. i just felt like i should post something cuz it's been awhile. year is ending.. i t hink i will do an overview of the year.. but not yet.. maybe tomorrow.. i have a full day of staying at home tomorrow.. going out with shane? maybe.. we'll see.. my dawson's creek comes back tomorrow morning... pacey&joey are already broken up... =( oh well.. now joey goes and gets her action.. cuz fudge SHE NEEDS iT! haha kidding. okay i'm going to go now. make use of my time like eating.. hmm.. i gained weight this christmas break.. ahh EFF it!