The world is no longer a romantic place...some of it's people still are however, and therein lies the promise. Don't let the world win.
-- Ally McBeal

today was an interesting day.. so i just went to school.. did the usual stuff at school.. had an English test that umm some parts were harder than others.. oh well, and then for foods class we made apple pie that turned out REALLY good. hahaha fudge what's the point of dieting and drinking only water for snack and lunch if i go to foods and eat 1/4 of an apple pie! haha freakin' horrible! it's okay it's only once in awhile.. and then afterwards it was cheer practice.. i found out some news that REALLY freakin' upset me. i don't think i've been that mad in SUCH a long time.. my heart was literally pounding so fast and my hands were shaking cuz i was so mad. so i just wanted to get away for a little bit and take a step away from the team and just think until the person i had to talk to came back so we can deal with the situation. he comes back after like a freakin' hour of waiting there and i dealt with the situation.. him leaving me there to think about things didn't really help him out, cuz the more you leave me there upset the more upset i get. it takes a lot ot make me mad.. and oooh boy was i mad! daymm.. it sucks feeling under appreciated.. you pour so much of your life into something only to have your ass handed back to you.. it's like WTFREAK is that?!.. that's what sucks.. i mean seriously.. for him to come walking in after what being gone for so long and making me feel like i did something wrong.. WTFREAK?! if you actually did your job maybe i wouldn't have to take care of everything else.. whatever.. i'm only supposed to be the freakin' captain of this thing.. not the freakin' coach! you swear i wanted the coach position... if i knew captain meant coach too i wouldn't have taken the job. but WHATEVER! it's over with and im' REALLY glad and happy everything was brought in the open and i was able to yell the way i did! =D it feels really good afterwards! and it feels even better when my point is seen! =D haha! and also GET OVER iT! people will CONSTANTLY talk crap about you.. GET OVER iT! if you dont' want people to talk crap about you don't freakin' give them a reason to talk so much crap about you.. and also seroiusly GET OVER YOURSELF! people dont' always talk crap about you.. you're not THAT important for people to be constantly talking crap about you. don't flatter yourself too much. and to another.. umm sorry to say no one cares enough about you to be saying anything about you. my goodness folks, let's get over the drama and get on with life... cuz this isnt' even worth what you're making it!

on unrelated news.. i feel bad. i know i really shouldn't have to feel bad but i do. lately i've been sorta mean to some people.. i mean not my usual sarcastic mean, but just straight out mean to people that have made me feel like crap. i can't help it though.. it's like i'm so tired of putting up with their BS that i just say things and do it in a mean sort of fashion.. and then i come out completely horrible in the end. i mean i know i really shouldn't feel bad cuz they've made me feel horrible for so long now, and it's about time that i dont' take it.. but i don't know i get this feeling that they've turned me into something that i'm not really. and i hate that. i mean i may be mean at times, but i mean i'm not SERiOUSLY mean.. but i mean it's like i can only take so much of them to a point where i'm just not going to put up with it anymore.. i don't know. i just hate the feeling that i've become someone that i really am not around them, and i've given them the opportunity to do that to me. i should never let anyone have that sort of affect on me.. cuz no one deserves that right from me. i mean i feel like i shouldn't be as mean as i am being, but at the same time i don't want to be fake and act nice. so hmm.. what's a girl to do?! find a balance. i don't have to be nice, but yet i don't have to be mean either, basically JUST be ME. i should say that in my head when i'm around them: "JUST BE ME! JUST BE ME! JUST BE ME!" okay so with that reminder.. let's hope i remember it tomorrow and the following days to come.

oh yeah after practice today me, lucy, and nashie went to go eat at CPK.. diet huh? yeah right. it's okay my water only for snack and lunch is pretty good.. except for the fact that it makes me pee like 3 times during school! hahaha! seoriusly i had a bottle of water driving to school.. then by the time i got to school i had to go to the bathroom.. i had water during snack, and on my way to 4rth period i had to pee... and then when i was changing for cheer practice i had to pee again! oh well atleaset i know my body is being cleansed right? haha.. maybe my bladder will get stronger or something? haha whatever.. okay i'm going to go now. i've written enough for today. i have brogdon homework.. fun grammar stuff that i actually understand and i'm pure genius at! =D too bad he thinks i'm a total cheerleader ditz. oh well.. little does he know of my genius. laters..

I think I just need to believe that it works. Love, couplehood, partnerships. The idea that when two people come together, they stay together. I have to take that to bed with me every night, even if I'm going to bed alone. That's a McBealism.
-- Ally McBeal

well... let's start off with the good news i FiNALLY and SERiOUSLY got my car back! wahoo!! i was so happy when i got it back.. it's the best thing driving that car again.. =) i feel at one with that car. haha! and listening to the Britney Spears' CD in that car is the greatest thing!! we can finally blast that CD in my car and not have to feel like a complete loser.. BUT we're still all losers, just not COMPLETE losers! speaking of Britney Spears me and some girls are planning a road trip to Fresno so we can watch the Britney Spears concert! the trick is buying the tickets.. the tickets go on sale this saturday.. it should be fun though.. right now it's me, xuan, yelena, lucy, angine, and lernik.. and maybe marita.. stupid girl is going to the LA one... but now she wants to go to the one in Fresno as well.. well i hope it all works out cuz that would be the best if it did! and Britney's opening act is Kelis.. hello MiLKSHAKE! haha that is my drunken song 4 life! hahaha! well anyways so that's going on.. crap! i have an english test i need to be studying for, and i REALLY need to get a good grade on it, cuz fudge i don't do so great on his tests. so i need to be doing good on this one.. and i actually sort of know this stuff since i did do the work on it. let's just hope i know enough to freakin' pull off a good grade. i'll study tonight.. i'm supposed to meet my mom at the bank now so she could open me a checking account and all that junk. i have a savings account, but i dont' have like a place wehre i can actually get money and stuff out of it.. so i'm doing that now. ooh i got paid $320 for working at my mom's office.. not too bad for working only saturdays.. i think i've only worked like 4 days. not too shabby huh? haha oh well.. i gotta go and meet her.. yay to me driving my car again! =D booo to me having to buy premium gas again =(. oh well.. laters!

oh and HELLO APRiL!

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
-- Mark Twain

i had work again today.. the work is tiring only for the fact that i have to wake up at like 5:30am and stuff.. and i mean all the paper stuff that i gotta deal with is a pain in the ass cuz then i get paper cuts on my fingers and the tips of my fingers look all the moisture in them.. but who cares im' getting paid so i'm not complaining. i'm mighty proud of myself cuz i've been controlling my food in take.. yep i told myself that i would no longer eat to a point where i'd be stuffed.. and i would not eat if i didn't need to eat. so the midnight MEALS, not snacks, cuz i don't snack i eat full course meals all.. for lunch me, my mom, my cousin, and my aunt went to Houston's to eat. it was really good there and i had a yummy roast beef sandwich.. and i could have scarfed that thing down but i decided to practice some self control and eat what i needed to and stop before i got full. so it worked out.. and then i just came home at around 4ish.. and i've been sitting at home ever since just watching some TV... and then i went to work out for a bit.. i'm liking my consistency on these things.. working out and lessening my food in take.. hmm.. i don't know what else to write, and id on't even know why i wrote.. but i did. so now here it is.. and now here i go. =P